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Finding Aid to the Rube Goldberg Archive of Cartoon Drawings and Related Pictorial Material
BANC PIC 1964.046-.048  
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Cartoon drawings: comics approximately 1904-1933

 

Comics, pre-1920 (estimated)

volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

"May I have the next dance?" 1904

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Ball-room conversation is the closest thing in the world to nothing. [Inscribed:] To the UC club with best wishes… Rube Goldberg // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Chamber of horrors: Skagway Steve, the terror of the north...
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Ready for another trimming [1908]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I don't think I'll need a harvesting machine for this job." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] The only real amateur athlete.
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

"Will you fight Johnson?" 1910

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] [Five hooded fight promoters in upper right]

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Boxing
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Burns belongs to the bull-dog type… [1907?]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "If you're not careful, you'll knock yourself out, Tommy."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Boxing
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

The horses are now breaking into print and overshadowing the rest of the news [April 12, 1907]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll loan you thirty cents on it." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] "Me sick wife is starving…"

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Horse racing
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Why do new clothes always insist on getting mussed up 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "After all, nothing makes a man feel…"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

There's no hope for the man who isn't…baseball Sept 2, [1911]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Judge, I want an absolute divorce-my husband refused to take me to the ball game." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Telephonies: "I've been discharged from the bughouse…"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Wash day is always bad weather August 28, [1911]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll have to get my new imported shirt laundered…"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club: The ladies view the great masterpieces at the annual exhibition of the associated artistic nuts Sept 5, 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I must give that artists model..." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Slackers: The kid who is supposed to practice an hour…
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

One way of disposing of the summer hotel leftovers Sept 8, 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "They're not a bad lot for the remnant counter." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I never thought of that: "I've been walking around here for an hour…"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

With all his misfortunes, a blind man… 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] A much-needed invention, if women insist on wearing those sight-destroying hats.

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Inventions (Goldberg machines)
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

It's different when you're sitting in the bleachers Sept 7, 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The poor tailor has to press the suit eight times to get it right. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Telephonies: "Yes, dad, I've cut out all forms of pleasure this year..."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

[Mother was right] "Andrew, I believe in trusting you completely..." Sept 9 [1911]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I never thought of that: "If my feet would only reach that chair-"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

It is fortunate they don't have mirrors out in the sidewalk Sept 19, 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm one of the few men that can look right in a derby." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I never thought of that: "It's funny-that hat fit me when I came into this restaurant."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

The day grows sweeter as the days grow shorter Oct 4, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It must be time to get up-I've got a big day before me today." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Is the alarm ringing, son?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

[History in a modern picture frame] Christopher Columbus, discoverer of America 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "When I stepped off the boat I jumped into a taxicab…"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

A labor-saving New Year's Eve noise-maker Dec 29, 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I knew I'd get there sooner or later…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Telephonies: "You must be mistaken-no one is blowing any horns in this apartment."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Inventions (Goldberg machines)
Holidays -- Miscellaneous
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

"Mother, how do you like my one-piece bathing suit?" 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It isn't what you think-it's what other people might think." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Silly sonnets: "The king was sick but he was calm."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

It is putting it mildly to say the Chicago delegate will have their hands full June 18

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Goodbye, fellow citizens-your welfare will bemy only thought at the Chicago convention"

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Politics
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

You always forget it because it's so easy to remember Oct 2 [1911]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Father, mail this letter on your way down town-my happiness depends on it."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

[Vaudeville.] "Anyway I can bank on my two friends in the fourth row to stick till I go on." [ca. 1912]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Telephonies
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

And still we pity the savages who wear rings in their nose Sept 27 [1911]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The danger of the dinner-ring mania. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Telephonies: "Yes, I believe a girl looks her best when she's dressed quietly-I never wear any jewelry."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

[They all look good when you're far away] "It's fierce to be an old maid and sit around day after day with no one to talk to" Oct 6 [1911]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Georgette, turn the purple room into a nursery at once."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Ahh yes, civilization has made life really worth while! Dec 4, 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] If you are an acrobat, you may possibly get through one of those modern revolving doors without being mortally wounded. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Do you want yo' shoes cleaned, sir?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

"Maiditis" epidemic breaking out among women in all places Dec 15, 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] A meeting of public-spirited women to distribute Christmas cheer. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I never thought of that: "Yes, I'm a great little guy for attending to things."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Cartoonist Goldberg breaks into Vaudeville -- by himself Dec 18, 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Anyway I can bank on my two friends in the fourth row to stick till I go on." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Telephonies: "Yes, it's great to be on the stage-everybody treats you fine and looks up to you with great respect."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Beautiful poems, full of Christmas sentiment Dec 23, 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Willie's Christmas Gifts-by Silas Junk of Grand Junction.

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Holidays -- Christmas
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Get the great Boob calendar -- a screw loose in every month Dec 28, 1911

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Let me crawl into your overcoat pocket-I'm a moth ball." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Are those the new 1912 calendars?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Why they throw bombs Nov 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll devote an hour or two to some very important mail that I have shamefully neglected."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club Dec 3, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Erasmus Van Sink, professor of dead languages in the University of Farina… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I know a guy-: "It's wonderful how this town has gona ahead."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Social conventions are largely a matter of the imagination Dec 11, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Mr. & Mrs. Aedipus Shoehorn request the pleasure of your presence…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Did your umbrella blow inside out?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Yes, every child should have a musical education 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Professor, I want you to take charge of my son and teach him to play the piano-I'll be back after the first lesson." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm the guy: "If I had charge of the New York police, I'd clean out the gamblers in ten minutes."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

"Where is the false-face department?" 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Won't Ophelia be delighted when she learns I've mastered the new step!" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Telephonies: "Yes, all us young folks are having the time of our lives."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

All the world's a moving picture show Jan 6, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "After twenty-years hard work I've saved $631.40-just enough to open a nice little stationary store." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Is that the trained monkey?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

History in a modern picture frame: The village blacksmith: under a spreading chestnut tree… Feb 10, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've only got $387.40 on me but I can wire to the back for more." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Were you robbed?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Leap year sports for the ladies Feb 24, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The leap year marathon: "Patrick Henry had the right idea when he said…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Telephonies: "I'd give ten years of my life to be out of this house."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

It is beginning to look as if music is good to eat Feb 2, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] How grandfather used to order: "Bring me an oyster cocktail, some chicken soup…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Telephonies: "The boys are all having a most enjoyable time."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Why does every boy use his pockets for a junk shop Feb 1, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Youth's one great joy is crabbing the garbage man's job: "We'll have to put him on a diet-he's getting too stout." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Willie, have you got something in your pockets?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

The seven slumberlan[ds?] Feb 8, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "We were doped!"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Fans to honor great baseball hero Mar 20, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Abbot J. Grass has served faithfully as ground-keeper of the local ball park for the last 47 years. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "What have I got in my hand?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Some people can look busy when they're unconscious Mar 29, [1912]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I wonder if it looks business-like to dot the I" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Trying to button your collar, Toby?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Ball players developing new curves in training camps Mar 2, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The tailor ball-when the batter sees a picture of his tailor on the ball, he immediately thinks of the money he owes him and becomes helpless. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Telephonies: "There are only two of us in the running for the position on the team…"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Even then, you can't get sore at her Mar 15, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I can't think of any greater pleasure than walking through life with the girl you love." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Are you the shoe clerk?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

The best a kid gets is a lot of time to himself & a chance to raise a beard Apr 16, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I must go out to take part in some suffragette riots-you stay home and mind Sylvester." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Putting your pants under the mattress to press 'em?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Still mother can't be a piker when she buys her Easter bonnet Apr 6, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Guess I'll have to get a job as manager of a railroad or something" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Selecting your Easter hat?"

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Holidays -- Miscellaneous
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

[It all depends on the point of view] How the approach of spring looks to the man who sells fishing tackle & bathing suits Apr 17, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Oh sun, oh sun, your light is good…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Telephonies: "If I do say it myself, there's nothing about me that is insincere or false.
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Why is it - ? Apr 18, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] That a man who is broke has a chance to make a good investment and a man with a bundle of dough doesn't know what to do with it.
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

You can go through fire and water to please your wife - and then she isn't pleased May 30, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I want to get a stylish straw hat-don't spare any pains or expense because my wife is very particular about how I look."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

The law of [compercation proven by a hat and a pair of pants?]: Going down. [with arrow to man's hat] 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Going up: [five dated scenes of man walking in hat that gets larger over time, and pants that get shorter.] // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "My son, my son, are you wearing those short English pants?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

Both presidential conventions will be full of pepper & dynamite Jun 12, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "If the worst happens, John, do you want a stylish tombstone on your grave?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Is the clock busted?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

History in a modern picture frame: Francis Scott Key writing the "Star Spangled Banner" Sept 16, 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Toss a tune around this lyric, Steve…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Is your machine equipped with electrical lights?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

This all comes under the heading of pleasure: "I pity the poor simps that are tied down all day in a stuffy office without any fresh air or recreation" 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Every man should have a hobby like collecting wish-bones or taming wild-flowers or breeding artichokes"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

This all comes under the heading of pleasure: "Now I think I can appreciate how a nut feels when they throw him into a straight-jacket" 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll bet everybody thinks I'm a cab…"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

This all comes under the heading of pleasure: "What greater pleasure could a man want than spend the evening with the sweest [sic] little baby in the world" 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Cutey, cutey, see, papa is an ostrich."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

The most sensible man to select your straw hat from the thousands of new shapes 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Take the one that happens to land on your head and let it go at that. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I never thought of that: "It took me all afternoon to select that hat."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

The goat Jan 1, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "And on the way out they all wished me a happy new year." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Are you still blowing that horn?"

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Holidays -- Miscellaneous
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

The suffragettes are getting ready for the walk to Washington Feb 3, [1913]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The long walks that are being taken in the interests of suffrage make it lonesome around the house. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Gee, are we still walking uphill?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

But it doesn't mean anything April 5, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Tooshwaa kowting pajama submarine."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

This all comes under the heading of pleasure: "You'll have to eat lunch without me - I'm going over to the park to get a little pleasure out of my new camera" Apr 26, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I feel like a king, up here with my camera-nothing can disturb me." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Leah, why did you put out the light in the parlor?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

When the maxim silencer is applied to apartment house walls April 7, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Why can't we lead a nice, quiet, happy, peaceful, loving, sweet, enjoyable life like the Joneses?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Aren't you two happily married?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

They way of all investigations Mar 20, [1913]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Committee appointed to investigate big steal in municipal cuspidor contract…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Silly sonnets: "I fly like a swallow on the wing."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Weston, sweep out padded cell 63140 Mar 18, [1913]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll walk six blocks this morning to keep my blood in circulation." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Silly sonnets: "With flaming eyes and streaming hair"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

The income tax has started a lot of weary thinking 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "These shoes will make you look as if you owe money." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "I'll run this $100 up to a thousand, buy a home in the country on the installment plan and settle down to a life of ease."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Taxes
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs abroad: Every Frenchman you see at Maxim's is an American July 26, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You'll have to wait till I cable my agent to sell all my apartment houses in America before I can pay this check." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Hello, Eddie, are you in Paris too?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs abroad: English barmaids are a very strong argument against temperance July 19, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "This is the very spot where Henry VIII bestowed the order of the garter on Black Ben of the royal coal-scuttle dragoons." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "So you're one of these English barmaids, are you?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs abroad: A wild and bloody night at the National Sporting Club of London July 22, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Quiet please-I 'eard somebody breathe." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Is that fellow's body tattooed?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs abroad: At that a man has a right to worry about himself as long as he is paying for it 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "We ought to feel thankful we're here when we read all the terrible news in the papers." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Taking the cure?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs abroad: As the old saying goes, never look a European gift in the face Aug 26, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "What people don't know won't rob them of any sleep." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Vill you haf some toys for der children?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Boobs abroad: There may be something sadder than a ship's concert but nobody has discovered it Aug 29, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Fellow passengers, we are now passing the very spot where thousands of brave sailors found a watery grave." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Are you one of the stokers?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Boobs abroad: Maybe they tried to apologize but we thought they were still calling us names Aug 14, [1913]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Not that I don't appreciate it, but I can't understand why the king sent his bodyguard down to meet me-I didn't wire him I was coming" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Do I have to eat with that wooden spoon?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Boobs abroad: After spending a few days in Holland, you know what it really means to be a Dutch Aug 9, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Say, madam, you lost your birdcages!" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Say, driver, is that a Dutch windmill?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Boobs abroad: Who knows, they might have had taxicabs in Pompeii too! Aug 16, [1913]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] One citizen, at least, did not regret that the eruption of lava came along and saved him from losing a bout with his anxiously-waiting wife. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Is Vesuvius still smoking?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Boobs abroad: [M]an carries his place of business around under his arm Aug 19, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] This collection of grand opera would be worth about $300,000 in America.
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Boobs abroad: When you're broke you know you're cured Aug 21, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You are dying from too much over-heaviness-I must gif [sic] you my reducing cure sooner at once-my assistants will make an instant relief of you."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Confidentially speaking, a man has a right to be a little more reckless during his vacation Sept 6, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've got to hand it to myself-it was pitiful the way that blonde with the big eyes fell for that stuff I pulled about owning a yacht and six candy factories." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Are you in haste?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

When they've all had their little say, Paris is still Paris Sept 11, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "When I was in Paris…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Are you the butler?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Breaking even: If restaurant patrons could get a waiter to sit down at his own table Sept 15, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've been here two hours already and nobody has even offered me a glass of water." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Are they smashing each others straw hats?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Anyway, election returns give you an excuse for staying out tonight Nov 4, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The latest reports from Osgonsgas county indicate a plurality of… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Are they still counting votes?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Breaking even: The only way to even up matters with the man who is always boasting about his only child Nov 14, 1913

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Dorothy is only two months old and Hammerstein wants to sign her up in grand opera…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Are they unveiling the monument?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Everything seems to be all right until you want to start something Nov [1913]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Step in, Ralph, I want to show you how my new self-starter works…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Is this one of those crankless machines?"
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

You may as well look your Christmas shopping square in the face [ca. 1904-1913]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "As close as I can figure it, it takes fives days to get from the toy department to the delicatessen counter." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "It's about time I got wise to myself-there's no reason why I should stick around here working…"

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Holidays -- Christmas
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

After all, it is only a matter of getting used to it Dec 10, [1913]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've been here in Mexico so long I feel as much at home as a native." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "There can't be much class to me-all the real people ride horseback every morning before going to work."
volume 1964.047 v.01 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

"It says here in the paper that only the single men will be called to serve the country during the war" 1912

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Hurry up, Olga we're going to get married-don't ask any questions-just follow me." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Silly sonnets: "Love's breath is wafted with a sigh"
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

What are you gonna do with it? Jan 14, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My only ambition is to run this first thousand dollars up to a million…." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm the guy: "I couldn't stay in business unless I gave each of my customers a perfect fit."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Breaking Even: If men who attend banquets ever get a chance to address the chronic after-dinner speaker. Jan 30, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I have written an original poem for this occasion…." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "Money means nothing after all…."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

It's all wrong, King Albert, it's all wrong 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Suzette, my socks are full of holes…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I'm making great headway…"
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

The new eugenic baby 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It seems to be in perfect condition, but you can't tell what might develop later on." [Includes two women holding a baby labeled, 1914 ball season. The back includes an additional drawing of a man.]
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

The nation's underpreparedness 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You know, Myron, if Napoleon were living today he'd be your valet…." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I'd be robbing you if I accepted a tip because I realize how unnecessary I am on earth."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Boobs abroad: Whatever you've heard about crossing the English Channel, it's worse than that. 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Now I know how little a sardine gets out of life."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

That little touch of green makes your purple hair looks lovely, Harriet Mar. 3, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] No kidding, they are going to wear the hair to match the loud color of the gown. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "My boy, you're wasting the best years of your life around these tango joints…."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Laughs are no good unless you can share them with somebody Mar. 10, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I heard a great story this morning - I laughed till I was blue in the face." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Nobody's business: "The old man didn't show up the other night till one o'clock in the morning…."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Breaking Even: If husbands ever get the chance to put hooks in their clothes Mar 12, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You had better start hooking me up the back now, dear…." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Nobody's business: "I always suspected that Isabelle Humphries in the millinery department was pretty thick with that big-eyed guy...."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

It is bad enough to dance it without trying to say it Mar 17, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Maxixe craze hits town. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Nobody's business: "Ludwig Murphy certainly picked a sour one when he married that widow from Buffalo…."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

What are you gonna do with it? Mar 20, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Who can tell me the name of the ninth king of Sardinia?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "Ah, here is an answer to my cable…."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

[...?] lover that knows his own sweetheart Mar 26, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "How should I know - I haven't seen her face yet." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Is there a foolish question in today?"
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Breaking Even: How to get even with the man who always plans his talking monologue soon as you get in the house Mar 27, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Wait till you hear the other 740 records." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "At last I've got it - the self-scrambling egg…."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

If you look at it in the right light, you're a mere child at 100 Jul 9, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My life has been a dismal failure - I'm 70 years old…." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: Their wives are away in the country too.
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

There's no sense to the fish-hook curls - that's why they're stylish Mar 31, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The newest head-dress is a matter of surveying. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "Extra paper - all about the great bla, bla, bla…!"
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

A stranger knows nothing when he arrives - and less when he leaves Apr 9, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Here I am in a strange town with a ticket for the convulsion theatre I bought at the hotel…." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "Madam, I advise you to take a number twelve-R."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Why didn't they tell the truth in the first place and save all that time? Apr 13, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Boss, my old indigestion has come back on me - I feel sure I will be laid up tomorrow." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "Lola, the sweetest girl on earth - I'll surprise her with a beautiful bunch of roses before I call tonight."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Don't be surprised if the butcher brings this shop around to your house Apr 15, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Sorry I can't serve your eggs, sir - the egg chauffer is having trouble with his engine, sir." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "Pretty soft for these policemen - I think I'll try to get a job on the force."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Breaking even: If the public even gets a chance to take charge of the information bureau in a railroad station Apr 28, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "When does the next train leave for Deadhead-on-the-Hudson?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: The horn seems a little hoarse - I'll get a mechanic to look it over."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

It's all wrong, Mendelssohn, it's all wrong Apr 30, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The secret of Mozart's "Song of the Dill Pickle" lies in the position of the back teeth when sounding lower "Q"." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "Maybe your wife would like me to do some sewing for her…."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Salute, you boob, salute! May 5, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The only way to make sure you are not insulting anybody is to salute everything in sight. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "We've printed a limited edition of Updike's works…."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

It's all wrong, Oscar, it's all wrong May 7, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've walked around for six days looking for work and have worked up appetite enough to bite the ear off of a race-horse running at the rate of 60 miles an hour." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "I don't blame the girls for not falling for a guy with hands like mine...."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Moreover, they need men at home to read the war news May 9, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] A war drama in two acts. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "I want to get a tune fork for a friend of mine who is going to get married…."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Our overskirt is the mother of invention May 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "There's no sense to all these overskirts, but, that's what they're wearing and people must admit my husband has a stylish wife." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "Boy, I want to have this shirt washed - how long will it take?"
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

A man is a mere boy at 96 from the tango standpoint May 18, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] It seems foolish for a man my age to start taking tango lessens... // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney Films: "Have a light."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

It's all wrong, Cleopatra, it's all wrong May 20, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "207 pounds! I must see a doctor at once and find out if there is any hope for my figure." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "I believe in trusting my chauffeurs…."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Shades of grandma, they're wearing their ears outside again! May 25, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The swellest of them are wearing their hair straight back from their ears. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "This is an ideal spot for you and your family during the hot summer months."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

It's all wrong, Judge, it's all wrong May 26, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I think I'll help myself to an apple - I Haven't eaten in seven days." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "No, my baby isn't the greatest in the world - in fact, I'm ashamed of him…."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

It's all wrong, Cupid, it's all wrong May 28, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Mister Allkinds, the young millionaire, is coming to call this evening and will probably propose to me before the evening is over." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I think Edna has the loveliest baby."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Breaking even: If actors ever get a chance to criticize the dramatic critic Jun 3, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The only thing about him I can't quite straighten out in my mind is why they let him live." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "Make my picture look natural - I don't want you to flatter me."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

It's all wrong, Graham White, it's all wrong Jun 5, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm certainly fortunate in having a nice, quiet, safe little delicatessen business - I pity painters and steelworkers and aviators who have to risk their lives every time they want to make a dollar." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney Films: "Boss, I realize that business is on the blink and feel that I would be doing you an injustice if I took a vacation this year."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

The title of this picture is - "Fifty-fifty" Jun 8, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] He tried to play up to her station and she tried to play up to his station - they were both in wrong. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "Fine, central - you got it right the first time."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

Rules for winning an heiress at a summer hotel Jun 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I wonder if he'd talk to us - we're only worth a million." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney Films: "I'm sure I see a messenger boy running - one of us has lost his reason."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

What are you gonna do with it? Jun 13, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Let's see, I'm paying $5 a day at this resort which is $70 for the two weeks I am going to stay here." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney Films: "Don't look till she gets in the water - she might feel embarrassed."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

No wonder the Mexicans can't fight! Jun 15, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] A cigar can change a man's whole future. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm the guy: "I'm the guy that put the bat in battle."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

How to keep from missing the 5:30 out to your summer cottage Jul 22, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The commutometer - the bell rings at 5:15 to remind you that you must hasten to catch the 5:30 for clam chowder-by-the-sea. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "Conductor, you forgot to collect my fare."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Inventions (Goldberg machines)
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

It's all wrong, Lambert, it's all wrong! Jun 17, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Go to bed without any dinner - no boy who smokes cigarettes can ever grow up to be a successful man." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "There must be something wrong with the meter - it should read $2.70 instead of $4.80 - I hope you'll pardon the mistake."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

Did somebody say "Everybody's out of town,"? Jun 18, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The secret lies in the little kink in the blade." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "Give me a table in the back some place - I've been planning a star part on Broadway all season and people might stare at me and embarrass me."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

What are you gonna do with it? Jun 19, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Nothing can be discovered without patience - I've made up my mind to find a four-leaf clover and I'll keep on looking." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: Just my luck! There goes the lunch whistle and I'm right in the middle of a most interesting piece of work - I'll ask the foreman if I can go right on working - I'm not hungry anyway."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

It's all wrong, Irving, it' all wrong. Jul 6, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "At last I've finished the most beautiful song ever written - I'll read it over before I take it to a publisher an sell it for a couple of hundred thousand dollars." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: Complete absence of bad language. [Man breaking his golf club]
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

What are you gonna do with it? Jul 7, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The citizens of Bilgewater Junction deeply appreciate the great honor you have slipped them by your visit to our fair city." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I' cured: "Let me put your name up at the Camel's Club - it's principal object is good - fellowship."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

They ride to the city every morning on the 7:30 Jul 9, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The commuter who insists on talking village politics every morning in the seven-thirty smoker runs the mosquito s close second for honors in the pest department. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "The real estate agent was right - there's not a mosquito in the place."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

If you don' think you are attracting enough attraction, send somebody a telegram Jul 17, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "As toastmaster, it is my great privilege to read a few of the hundred of telegrams of congratulation sent to the bride and groom by prominent people in all lines of endeavor." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "My greatest ambition is to have my son take lessons on that counterpart of the human voice, the violin."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

What are you gonna do with it? Jul 18, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Just think, the actual ball with which Homerun Bonedome won the game for the Horribles." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "Shall we take a taxi?"
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

I'm the guy: I didn't miss a meal the whole trip Jul 23, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It is four months since the boobonia went down with all on board - I'm afraid I can't hold out much longer - four months is a long time to go without food."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

Phoney films: Is the one in blue travelling alone? Jul 24, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):]"I have an appointment to take Miss Paraphernalia to the theatre."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

I'm the guy: I'm not seasick - it's the pudding Jul 28, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It took me 17 years to land this treasure chest - I'll move to a foreign country, grow a lawn on my face and run for mayor or something."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

Phoney films: Honest, you don't need your goggles in the ocean Jul 30, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It's growing again!" [Man looking at new hair growth after using a hair restorer]
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

None of the others know what the song is all about, either Dec 11, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Where is this Tipperary, where is it a long way from, why should anyone want to go there, and how does it concern you?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I can understand the words."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Here's another girl calendar for your collection Dec 28, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Jan.; She marries janitor. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "I just had to put a deposit of $99.15 to reserve a table for New Year's Eve."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

The tango has succeeded bread as the staff of life Dec 30, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Instead of admiring the baby's face they now look at his feet. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I know you want to dance with me out of sympathy..."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

The prima donna retires for the 1,678th time Dec 31,1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Dear friends, before making my farewell appearance, I want to express my heart-felt thanks for your generous appreciation of my various rough-house performances during all my years as a souse." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "I'm off the stuff for good - I'm on the wagon for the rest of the year..."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

I'll be in Paris in between the 15th and old age 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] I'm cured: "My mind is made up - I'm tired of my own society - I'll propose to Dorcas tonight."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

What time is it? My wrist is sprained Aug 3, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] I'm cured: "When does the next train leave for Camp Shoestring?"
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

What are you gonna do with it? Aug 4, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My 25 years of research in the science of mudology" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "Give me a good, stiff jolt of whiskey - I want to forget my troubles."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

If this is Switzerland, where is the cheese? Aug 7, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Phoney films: "Gee, I had a fine night's sleep."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

This is only a psychological cartoon, so that lets us out Aug 11, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] If business is bad only psychologically, then you can take a vacation the same way. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "What kid of wine will you have?"
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

For raising the deuce with a queen, the king is an ace Aug 12, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Phoney films: "The prescription is written in Latin and looks very expensive."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Rehearse this & you be lonesome crossing the ocean Aug 13, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Speech one: "Is this your first trip across?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm Cured: "You ought to join a bridge whist club where you can meet the wives of our leading citizens."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

When I was abroad, etc., etc., etc. Aug 14, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] I'm cured: "Ah "sunny and warm - light winds - no rain" - that's fine -I won't need my umbrella today."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

What are you gonna do with it? Aug. 24, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I have more duel scars on my face than any student that ever graduated from old Heidelberg." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: Lastforever tires - absolutely puncture-proof.
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

[..?] that, the pictures are sometimes the best part of the vacation Aug 17, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Soon, we'll have the silly season where they show vacation photos of people nobody ever heard about, taken in places nobody ever cared about. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "Not a servant in sight waiting for a tip!"
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

What are you gonna do with it? Aug 19, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll bet nobody from the hotel ever left his trade mark at the very top of that tree." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "Gee, I'm glad school has started again."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Take an Englishman away from his tea and he's not an Englishman Aug 20, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] In England when it comes to a question of duty or tea, tea wins. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "Gee, I wish I took up French in school - he might be saying something very important."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

It's all wrong, Morpheus, it's all wrong Aug 21, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "One o'clock! I went to bed at eight o'clock and haven't closed my eyes for a minute - this insomnia is killing me." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "Don't bother me - I'm busy with affairs of state."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

There's enough material in a shoe-string for a dozen Ostend bathing suits Aug 25, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Before you get a chance to take off your hat, the bath-house starts to move out into the ocean. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "I'm going to a swell society tea this afternoon and I don't want to look like a rank outsider."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Stay in the bath-tub and laugh at the hot weather Aug 26, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I won't be disturbed - this weather's too hot for a murder." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I'm giving this $5,000,000 to the orphan asylum on condition that nothing is said about it in the papers."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

"Mind over matter" is the right dope Aug 29, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Ball players are rehearsing the trance gag during their spare moments.

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Baseball
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

If you are on the ground, naturally you can understand the war situation more thoroughly Sept 8, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've read every French paper since the trouble started, and I haven't the slightest idea what the war is all about." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Foolish questions: "Are we in the war zone?"
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

The Parisians show their loyalty in many ways Sept 15, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] This poor dachshund didn't even know that war had been declared but the Parisians were too excited to ask him. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "Business has been terrible since these peace delegates held their important meetings."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Can't feel depressed if your vacation ate up all your loose change Sept 19, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The only sensible thing to do after coming back from your vacation broke. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "But, Julia, this is your night off."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

The war refugees didn't have time to think about clothes Sept 21, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Americans had to use ingenuity in getting their families away from the warzone. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "This is the first of the new fall models we are importing from Paris."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

Breaking Even: The only way to get back at the man who is always telling you how sick he thinks he is Sept 26, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Call seven doctors and eighteen nurses - I've got appendicitis, chicken pox, brain fever, heart failure, hydrophobia, and housemaid's knee - I can tell because my elbow itches." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I dropped in to pay you that three dollars I borrowed July 18th, 1906."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

It's all wrong, Wilhelm, it's all wrong Oct 6, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "War is costing $55,00,00 a day and nobody knows what it is all about." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "I think the French are wrong."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

You're foolish if you even try to say them Oct 7, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Those unpronouncable names should not keep you from discussing the war. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "Goodnight, Joe, it was a great game and everybody's satisfied."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

Now you know why your customers can't give you any trip advice Sat. [1914]

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I can't quite understand all this talk about hard times." [Two men labeled Phil Athletics and Boston Braves receiving lots of money] // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "It's all my fault, Jack - I admit I was wrong."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

It's all wrong, Joe, it's all wrong Oct 22, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll call on A.T. Stretch, president of the rubberneck department store, and I won't tell him I'm here to sell him an order of hairpins until after I've shown him a good time and gained his good-will." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "What you need, Phil, is excercise - you'd feel better if you took off weight."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

It's surprising there was so large a vote rolled Oct 27, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "If it is the last act of my life I must go to the polls and vote for my brother-in-law who is running for city and county onion-inhaler." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "As a committee of 10,000 of your supporters and leading citizens, we have come to congratulate you upon your election."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Politics
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

Father Time will have to move faster to keep up with the new automobile models Oct 22, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] They're getting out the new automobiles so fast, a man is three years behind the time unless he is four years ahead of himself." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "This old roman vase was made in 23 B.C. and was used as a shaving mug by Emperor Kickyerfacien. You can have it for $4,000."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

The society season is very successful in spite of hard times Oct 28, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Society people are all broke, but that doesn't stop them from going through the motions. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "Business is great."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

A drummer in an orchestra can't say business is quiet Nov 2, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] It will alays remain a great mystery why a drummer is expected to do more things than any other living person. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I'm sorry I can't suggest anything to cure your cold."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

What are you gonna do with it? Nov 3, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm ashamed of myself - I'm eight years old and I can't inhale a cigarette - I might as well start practicing right now." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "I don't see any sense in making a healthy guy like me go to school."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

The best part of reducing is that it is so simple Nov 10, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Doughnut (A) rolls down board (B) and becomes overheated from friction... // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "Darling, I just love widows."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Inventions (Goldberg machines)
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

It's all wrong, Bombardier, it's all wrong Nov 12, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I never saw a prize fight in my life." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "You must meet our crowd - we're all jolly bohemians and never bother with any of the conventionalities like full dress or society talk."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Everything you pick up is wrapped in germ-proof paper Nov 13, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] They're wrapping everything in sealed packages now to keep out impurities. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I've been here 26 years and I'm getting $17 a week."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

We got this way from reading war news Nov 14, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll send you a bill for gas and air." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "My wife is sick and we haven't eaten for three days."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

What are you gonna do with it? Nov 16, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "After studying all year I've memorized Shortfellows, 'Old Clay Pipe'." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm the guy: "Don't squeal, lady, I just want to borrow your cape so I can make a safe get-away."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Have you some inside dope on the war, too? Nov 18, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I know for a positive fact that the Sultan of Turkey is Wounded." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "He didn't make a liar out of me."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Some presents we must accept from life's Christmas tree Tuesday [1914]

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It's a great car but it won't go." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "This is certainly a relief-This magazine is full of real Christmas spirt..."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

It's less dangerous to fight than to remain neutral Nov 27, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "When I write an editorial on the war for my paper I take particular pains to kep it absolutely neutral." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I've had enough - I can't win back what I've lost."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

The speeches are not the only thing the matter with a banquet Nov 30, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The guest of honor generally has to break a date that would mean so much more to him than the banquet // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "Nobody but a farmer wears suspenders these days-a belt is much more comfortable"
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

What are you gonna do with it? Dec 1, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'd rather drink poison than take my cold shower this morning - but they're all doing it." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I'm not using the limousine today."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

If your firs are big enough to be seen with the naked eye, you're not in style Dec 5, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The furs they are wearig this season don't seem to have very much to do with the cold weather. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: A peach entering and not a head turned.
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

If you get killed outright, it saves you the trouble of meeting all those strange people Dec 8, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Is this the slowpoke railroad? I was knocked down by one of your cars today and I want you to make a settlement." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "Bless the little darling - he didn't disturb me once last night."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

A Christmas surprise is only a surprise because it's so cheap Dec 9, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My what a small hand you have, Miss Coldcream!" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "These dime savings banks are wonderful little things - a man can save money without stinting himself."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

You'll soon be able to use your dog house for a garage Dec 10, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] These very small cars they are making now are apt to cause your friends a lot of unnecessary worry. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I want to give myself up - I saw a man arrested for stealing an apple."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club Dec 11, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Mrs. Laughington brings her daughter's fiance around to meet the ladies. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Slackers: The person who writes anonymous letters and starts a lot of trouble without any fear of getting into it.
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

None of the others know what the song is all about, either Dec 11, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Where is this Tipperary, where is it a long way from, why should anyone want to go there, and how does it concer you?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I can understand the words."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Here's another girl calendar for your collection Dec 28, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Jan.; She marries janitor. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "I just had to put a deposit of $99.15 to reserve a table for New Year's Eve."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

The tango has succeeded bread as the staff of life Dec 30, 1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Instead of admiring the baby's face they now look at his feet. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] Phoney films: "I know you want to dance with me out of sympathy..."
volume 1964.047 v.02 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

The prima donna retires for the 1,678th time Dec 31,1914

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Dear friends, before making my farewell appearance, I want to express my heart-felt thanks for your generous appreciation of my various rough-house performances during all my years as a souse." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] I'm cured: "I'm off the stuff for good - I'm on the wagon for the rest of the year..."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Father was right Jan 10, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Julian, my boy, you are very foolish to raise a mustache..." // [Additional panel(s)] Old man Alf of the Alphabet: "I'm afraid to go home to face my wife."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

It's all wrong Godiva, it's all wrong Jan 11, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'd give $7,000,000 of the fortune I inherited from my uncle just to have long beautiful hair." // [Additional panel(s)] Phoney films: "You forgot to give us our homework."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Some men think anything that looks foolish is an antique Jan 12, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I picked up everything you see in this room during my travels in all the countries in the world." // [Additional panel(s)] I'm cured: "I just made $16,780,000 in lawn mowers and I want to collect rare painting like other rich men."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

What are you gonna do with it? Jan 13, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I chinned the bar 43 times." // [Additional panel(s)] I never thought of that: "Nothing is too good for you, darling..."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

We have to like them even though they are lacing their shoes on the side Jan 16, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] At that, the shoe-maker who put the first pair of shoe-laces in the front may have been wrong. // [Additional panel(s)] Phoney films: "It is worth losing a night's sleep just to know that the people upstairs are having a wonderful time."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

What are you gonna do with it? Jan 22, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "This is my seventh load - 596 people were all smashed up in the 12th wreck of the rough and ready railroad." // [Additional panel(s)] I never thought of that: "That's a wonderful lot across the street - for $500,000 I could put up an apartment house."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

It's all wrong, Larry, it's all wrong Jan 23, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I must watch very closely for the next car." // [Additional panel(s)] Phoney films: "Yes, sir, I'm going down."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

What are you gonna do with it? Jan 29, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Gee, Spike, I just had the most wonderful dream in the world." // [Additional panel(s)] Phoney films: "I'll be ready soon dear - I've found my full dress shirt studs and tie and shirt all in one place."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

It's too bad those little information books aren't large enough to use for fuel Jan 30, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm a successful business man but I feel my lack of education..." // [Additional panel(s)] I never thought of that: "How can they expect me to work in an ice chest like this with a hurricane blowing down my neck?"
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

You don't know what work is until you've tried to open a window on a train Feb 1, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Peanut butchers on trains could make a lot of money selling electric window-openers to passengers. // [Additional panel(s)] Phoney films: "I'd call on the telephone and ask me to join myself but I'm afraid I'm out of town."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Inventions (Goldberg machines)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

It's all wrong, Jimmy Valentine, it's all wrong Feb 2, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My Swiss watch and diamond ring are the only valuable things I own on earth." // [Additional panel(s)] I never thought of that: "There's an Australian duster-hound, one of the rarest animals in the world."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

The enjoyment of a dinner party depends entirely on mechanical skill Feb 19, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] It takes more than an ordinary amount of courage and strategy to entertain your partner at a dinner table. // [Additional panel(s)] I never thought of that: "My paintings are better than Rembrandt's, and people think I'm cheating them when I give them away."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Why not take your valentines and give the "victims" a chance to defend themselves? Feb 13, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] It's cowardly to send comic valentines - this way gives everybody an even break. // [Additional panel(s)] I never thought of that: "Didn't I tell you never to clean the stove with my shaving brush?"
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Read this and learn how to button your collar in a hurry Feb 17, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Stand near pool table (A)...// [Additional panel(s)] Phoney films: "Mister Suet Pudding."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Inventions (Goldberg machines)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Edison should invent a way to regulate a shower bath Feb 18, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "A nice shower bath will straighten me out for a good day's work." // [Additional panel(s)] Phoney films: "I found a popular magazine without a girl's face on the cover."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

it's all wrong, Euclid, it's all wrong Feb 19, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Lutie, I want to impress upon you the importance of knowing your arithmetic thoroughly..." // [Additional panel(s)] I never though of that: "That's the biggest bargain I ever saw in riding pants."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

The less they know about a thing the better they like it Feb 20, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] People don't think music is high class unless they hear it in a language they can't understand. // [Additional panel(s)] I never thought of that: "Why won't you marry me Amorita?"
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

What are you gonna do with it? Feb 25, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "U.R. Slow, of the Cheesecake Athletic Club, crosses the line first in the great hardlyable marathon handicap." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney Films: "I found your stolen diamonds."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

It's all wrong, Fatima, it's all wrong Feb 26, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll stop off on the way up-town and leave this box of marshmallows at my daughter-in-law's house..." // [Additional panel(s)] I never thought of that: "Julia will be proud of my business sense in buying this beautiful $100 horn for $12.60."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Woman's place is the home, but that is no reason she should not vote Mar 2, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Why leave the kitchen to make a political speech? // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "This is a 5 cent cigar with a 25 cent band on it..."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

European soldiers are not the only ones who receive crosses for bravery Mar 4, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Being decorated with the order of the misfit. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: Just think, Uncle Luke is worth two million and I'm his sole heir."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Every thrice-horse-power car should be equipped with a shoe-horn Mar 5, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "No, we're trying to figure out the best way we can all fit in the new one-cylinder car." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Dear, I can't deceive you - Before I accept your proposal I must tell you that I wear a wig, I have a wooden leg, and I make a noise when I eat soup."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

What are you gonna do with it? Mar 6, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've spent every evening for a month practicing on one of those 'Sister Susie's sewing shirts for soldiers' songs like Al Jolson sings." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Young man - here's your salary - you deserve it -"
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

It's all wrong, Aloysius, it's all wrong Mar 8, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've dropped that dollar - watch 27 times in two days and it's still running." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I insist upon you allowing me to take you home from the dance in a taxi."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Why should a man be idle while his companion is dolling up in public? Mar 10, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] A man could put in his time shaving himself while his wife is powdering her nose." // [Additional panel(s)] I never thought: "What can I do for this toothache?"
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Another German blockade in the Schultz family Mar 11, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've got just enough to buy a stack of chips over at Jake's when I sneak away after dinner." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I just finished building that house and it didn't cost me a nickel more than the contractor said it would."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

What are you gonna do with it? Mar 12, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Now, hide something in the next room and I will show you the power of thermohypnotic concentration as I developed it from the teachings of Prof. Stonedome." // [Additional panel(s)] I never thought of that: "There's a itemized bill right before your very eyes - $87.44 in black and white."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

The only sure way to get your morning bath is to sleep in the bath tub Mar 17, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "There goes the alarm clock - I'll get up early and start the day right." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "There you are, Sir - one brass bed, $57.10 - our terms are strictly cash."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

The reason for baseball training camp reports has been discovered at last Mar 18, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've been in bed for six hours and haven't closed an eye - I'd give a million for something to make me sleep." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Mother sent me over to return this book she borrowed three years ago."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

All theatre box offices should be equipped with this time-saving device Mar 19, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] When your patience is exhausted, pull handle and push lever forward. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "For 35 years I've spent all my time and money on Henrietta Bamboo."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Inventions (Goldberg machines)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

A man isn't always crazy if he laughs to himself Mar 23, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] A man who is seen laughing to himself always attracts a lot of unfavorable attention - perhaps he is only cashing in the laughs he was too polite to take // [Additional panel(s)] Phoney films: "There goes my son, Jasper - although he is captain of the college football team, is the best baseball pitcher in college..."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

It's all wrong, Paderewski, it's all wrong Mar 24, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll sell papers until I get enough money to start taking piano lessons." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "There's one of our very latest Parisian models."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

There's room for all kinds of talent in the moving pictures business Mar 26, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Olive, I'm afraid you'll step on your own neck some day and strangle yourself - you've broken 17 ornaments in three days." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "There's just the kind of a machine I've been wanting to own for years."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

The only bad part of a good idea is that everybody has it at once Mar 27, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've saved $1,000 for a nice trip to the San Francisco fair where I can get a complete change, away from the boobs I've had to associate with every day in this town." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Which one of these diamond rings do you prefer, dear."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

The only way to meet a boat is to put up a tent on the wharf Mar 31, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Ella is on the Detainia which Is due at the dock at 7:10 - I've just got three minutes to make it." // [Additional panel(s):] "I never thought of that: "I'm going to sue the owner of this building."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

It's all wrong, Bunny, it's all wrong Apr 2, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "After seven years of constant practice I've mastered the expression in the wrist that indicates surprise." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Here's the material I matched at the store with the sample you gave me this morning."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Inventions (Goldberg machines)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

The real Easter parade takes place the day after Easter Sunday Apr 5, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "She told me it was the only hat of it's kind in town and I saw seventeen others like it on the avenue yesterday." // [Additional panel(s)] Phoney films: "This is what all the stylish young ladies are wearing."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

Father was right Apr 6, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Elmer I haven't much longer to live so I'm giving you this little safe containing $3,746.10, the savings of my whole lifetime - put it in the bank and let it draw interest." // [Additional panel(s)] I never thought of that: "I can't see a thing in this office - my eyesight is getting worse every minute."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

Father was right Apr 8, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Dad, I'm in love with the most wonderful girl that ever lived..." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "My $8.10 is gone - I've been attacked by thieves."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

it's all wrong, Narcissus, it's all wrong Apr 16, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "All the swell girls are calling me up and making a fuss over me..." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "The door is locked and I have no key."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

Father was right Apr 21, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My poor old dad still believes in that foolish idea of a young man starting at the bottom and working his way up..." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I'm giving you more than a quart but I'm not particular - I won't charge you for it."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

Most sensible way to break in a new pair of shoes Apr 26,1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Naturally, the first thing to do is to get the shoes." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Things are a little slow so you can take the afternoon off and go to the ball game."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

Father was right Apr 28, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My son, you're very foolish for wanting to be a prize fighter..." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought: "I'm the manager of this team - leave all the arrangements to me."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

If you want to read your morning paper you ought to buy an automobile Apr 29, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Give me a morning uproar and a daily slam - the only time I get to read the papers is on my way down to the office in the morning." [Inscribed:] "With sincere good wishes to my friend Irving Berlin, R.G. Goldberg, June 1915." ] // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I feel comfortable in these clothes."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

The Jitney Bus threatens to put the world on a five-count basis. May 6, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The Jitney Bus makes everybody look like a millionaire for a nickel. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I bought this mask for the big masquerade ball tonight so my wife won't recognize me."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Inventions (Goldberg machines)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Try this and you'll never lose your glasses again May 8, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Wireless arrangement guaranteed to find your glasses when you forget where you left them. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "We'll fight it out to see which one of us will marry Fanny Blinkensniffer."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Inventions (Goldberg machines)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

It's all wrong, Eitel, it's all wrong May 8, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Remember, Lena, your father is English and I'm French - it would break my heart if you married a German." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "The kid has been able to talk for six months and hasn't said a cute thing yet."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

And you can't have the window-dresser arrested either May 10, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "We must hurry to the theatre, dear - We're fifteen minutes late, already." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I can get enough soap out of this to wash my hands."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Father was right May 12, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You'll regret wearing tight shoes, son... " // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "He's actually brushing the dust off of my hat."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Getting ready for the yearly summer attempt to grab an heiress May 21

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "And after I marry the heiress I'll pay for the clothes, and give your son a job…" // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "My client admits he deliberately knocked you down with his automobile and wants to pay all your doctor bills and settle an income on you for life."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Father was right May 22, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Don't read those trashy novels, Violet - read this copy of one of Shakespeare's works and you'll get some real benefit." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Eight cars have passed without even hesitating."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Don't give up the old place till you've actually moved into the new one May 27, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Just what we want dear - we'll be all ready to move on the first." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Hurry down to the train and meet my old schoolmate, Miss Stall."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Why confine that comfortable position to racing automobiles? May 31, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] No automobile is considered real classy unless the driver is lying on his back. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "The music in this place is driving me mad."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Father was right Jun 1, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My boy, don't try to save your hair by spending your money on every fancy remedy that comes along - buy a wig for forty cents and forget about it." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I'm not particular about the salary you give me for playing on your team - I play for the love of the sport."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

The only place where you can really meet your friends is at the movies Jun 2, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've had to come here to sleep since Mary started her singing lessons." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Your honor, my wife doesn't ask for any alimony in her suit for divorce…."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

"Call a rose by any other name etc. etc." Jun 3, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Now, Karl, I am going to handle this garden on a purely scientific basis." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Don't stand there and tell me that Mister Crabflake isn't it."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

The soldiers in the trenches seem to be getting all the best of it Jun 7, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "As an American citizen I am thankful that I don't have to get mixed up in the war." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Mamma, you forgot to give me my medicine."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Father was right Jun 11, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It's too dangerous up there, Eddie - I took a fall when I was a boy and had to have my head reupholstered." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: Portrait of a professional humorist
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Summer's bathers should take precautions against submarines Jun 16, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The submarines are so careless with their torpedoes, ocean bathers should be careful not to be mistaken for hostile craft." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "We love your place and would like to spend the summer here - what are your rates?"
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

If you go to a stylish summer resort for a change, you'll barely get it. Jun 26, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I didn't get to see any - I was too busy changing my clothes." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I've slaved in this office for 36 years. I never left my desk until four hours after closing time."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

War has made life simply one darn note after another Jun 28, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Diplomatic relations at the breaking point // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "No thanks, lady - I never eat watermelon."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Father was right Jun 29, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "But, Julius, I served in the campaign of 1859 and I'm still wondering what the war was all about." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I'd love to but my face is all dirty and I'm ashamed to meet anybody."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

At that, we wouldn't like 'em so well if they had sense Jun 30, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "She walks along the beach sweltering in heavy winter furs because the other women who read the fashion page are doing the same." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I paid $125 for this ring - how much will you loan me on it?"
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

Father was right Jul 2, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Please don't wear that dress, Doris - there are so many reasons why you shouldn't wear it I haven't time to go into details - you'll have to take my word for it as a man who knows something." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "The dust is blinding me."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

Father was right Jul 6, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "We can't own any private yachts selling cheese, herring, and pumpernickel, son, but we eat our three square meals a day and don't have to worry about the color of the butler's uniform." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I made up my mind to go home after winning $20 and I'm sticking to my resolution."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

Maybe it's the law of compensation, whatever that may be Jul 7, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] A woman will laugh her head off at a moving picture of a man beating out his landlord's brains…." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I. Slamm, dramatic critic of the morning goulash, says I played Hamlet last night with as much success as a one-legged porch-climber robbing the poor house -"
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

A vacation is something like an ipplewoggle - there's no such thing Jul 9, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "This man went to the mountains for the fresh air." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "That's funny - I put a dollar in my pocket five minutes ago -"
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

The experts might know when the war will be over but they're keeping it a secret Jul 10, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "After a careful study of the military situation in Europe, and having served as a general in 53 wars, I positively predict that the war will be over by January thirteenth." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "The Evening Schmeekase: Society Gossip"
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

Father was right Jul 12, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You haven't the proper training for a successful poet - take my advice, Otto, and accept the position I secured for you in Uncle Jake's livery stable." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I made a date to meet her here at 4:30 - it's already 9:45."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

You may as well take the doctor's advice because you're wrong either way Jul 13, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You worry too much about business when you are in your office - you must get away to the country at once." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I advise all business men to do this before going to bed in my daily health articles in the "Evening Screech" and I actually do it myself."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

Learn to swim now - it may come in handy some day when you sit next to a coal-heaver eating soup Jul 15, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The subject stands in front of image of wife with phonographic attachment which causes her to make speech as in picture..." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I feel perfectly rested after my vacation."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Inventions (Goldberg machines)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

Father was right Jul 22, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You're foolish to quit your job at the factory just when you're in line to be promoted to head janitor." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of it: "I'm roasting to death in this bed."
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs at the Fair: It isn't so bad if you just keep in mind that you don't have to stick with this bunch after you reach San Francisco. Aug 5, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] This boob is travelling and doesn't care who knows it. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I wonder why they don't make up my berth."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Panama-Pacific International Exposition (1915 : San Francisco, Calif.)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs at the Fair: The San Francisco people have a right to be proud of the fair, but a visitor has only one pair of eyes Aug 6, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I haven't seen the old town in five years - I'll rest up after the long trip and take a quiet look around before going to the fair grounds." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I always enjoy the convenience and comfort of a pull man wash-room."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Panama-Pacific International Exposition (1915 : San Francisco, Calif.)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs at the Fair: For the benefit of those who can't make their yearly trip to Europe, they seem to have brought Europe over here Aug 11, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've seen everything in Europe and the Orient and I'm glad to get an opportunity to visit the fair and find something about my own country." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "There hasn't been a soul near this booth all day."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Panama-Pacific International Exposition (1915 : San Francisco, Calif.)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs at the Fair: It seems foolish to come all the way to San Francisco just for a dance Aug 13, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I came all the way out here from Boston because I appreciate the educational value of the fair." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I don't want any fuss made over me - I'd rather go out and see the fair all alone as a private citizen."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Panama-Pacific International Exposition (1915 : San Francisco, Calif.)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs at the Fair: P.T. Barnum must have had "The Zone" in mind when he said "There's one born etc. etc." Aug 17, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "There are many wheels of fortune on the "Zone" where you can win a nice $0.15 doll for $88.00." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I might as well tell you the truth, ladies and gentlemen - these Egyptian dancers have never been Egypt in their lives - in fact they don't know where Egypt is."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Panama-Pacific International Exposition (1915 : San Francisco, Calif.)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs at the Fair: You don't have to wait till night to see the beautiful illumination at the fairgrounds Aug 18, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You can't afford to miss the illuminations at the fair - have another cocktail." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I've been walking around the fair all day without a thing to eat."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Panama-Pacific International Exposition (1915 : San Francisco, Calif.)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs at the Fair: It takes a man with an inventive brain to appreciate the aeroplane exhibition Aug 21, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Here's a man dying right in the middle of the fair grounds." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "The beautiful dancing girls, all perfect Venuses, are about to appear inside."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Panama-Pacific International Exposition (1915 : San Francisco, Calif.)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs at the Fair: What's the use of listening when you can read the guide-book after you get back to the hotel? Aug 24, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "We are now coming to something of tremendous interest to all the members of our party - our souls hunger for a touch of the ethereal-step into the auditorium of dead languages." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "You'll have to take the next car - I don't want to crowd my passengers and make them feel uncomfortable."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Panama-Pacific International Exposition (1915 : San Francisco, Calif.)
volume 1964.047 v.03 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Boobs at the Fair: Of course, this doesn't say what the horses in the livestock exhibit think of the people Aug 31, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I hope he can stand up long enough for me to get this three-second exposure." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Well, we're all here to entertain the Governor of Georgia who is to be our guest of honor at this banquet tonight."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Panama-Pacific International Exposition (1915 : San Francisco, Calif.)
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Boobs at the Fair: The electrician at Sing Sing can get a few pointers from the exposition's electric chairs Sept 1, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Take an electric chair and see the fair in a nice, quiet, comfortable way - you can't afford to miss anything." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "This is a genuine abadaba rug imported direct from the city of Alfalfa, ruled over by Sultan Mohamet Bey Nutti."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Boobs at the Fair: You can't get much nourishment out of the art exhibit if you let it worry you too much Sept 3, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You can't understand what you are looking at here in the Fine Arts Building unless you buy a catalogue." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Sergeant, keep firing till the rest of the army comes back from the saloon across the street."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Boobs at the Fair: The unreasonable ones expect the Liberty Bell to stand up, walk around, and make faces Sept 6, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Many of them think the nation is foolish to bother with a damaged piece of iron when there are so many improved articles on the market. // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I left some films of the fair here to be developed."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Boobs at the Fair: When you figure out the length of your visit, add an extra week for buying a return ticket Sept 7, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll get my ticket, reserve my sleeper and beat it for home tomorrow." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Certainly I can give you a lower berth without keeping you waiting with a lot of mysterious telephone discussions."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Boobs at the Fair: In the smoker on the way home you'll discover that the best town in the country is Everytown Sept 9, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Seattle is the only town on the coast for warm climate during the cold weather." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Why didn't I take a bite to eat before I left home?"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Father was right Sept 10, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My son, if I were you, I wouldn't be too quick to judge people before I met them - besides, if you knock, you can't tell who might be listening." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Here's the contract for that $1,000,000-deal - it is written on one page and doesn't contain a lot of foolish words."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Look at this and stop worrying about our standing army Sept 15, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Our taxicab drivers can scare away the enemy without the help of our standing army of 134. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "No home should be without the new pazaza electric bulb."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Father was right Sept 16, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It is an uncertain business, son, and you have to be in it a great many years before you know anything about it - and then you don't know anything about it." // [Additional panel(s):] "I have decided to produce your play exactly as you have written it - I won't change a word to suit the wild ideas of the star and I won't try to work off any old scenery from last year's failures."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

Father was right Sept 17, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You know, Ezra, you've never been on a horse before and it might be a good idea to take a few lessons before riding with a lot of experienced horsemen." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I'd like to borrow $50 for half an hour - it is a matter of life and death"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 01

If you've started following a moving picture serial you may as well give up your business Sept 18, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I missed one installment of 'The Miseries of Marguerite' and my life is wrecked!" // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "This is the worst moving picture I ever looked at."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Has your office boy decided what kind of a car he is going to buy? Sept 20, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Now that I've got a day off I'll attend to a few small personal matters." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "The apartment looks fine - I think we'll take it."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

It's all wrong, Mars, it's all wrong Sept 21, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The war seems to be getting worse every day - the thought of those poor men -" // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "What ball team do you think will win the pennant?"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Don't start looking for an apartment unless our brain is very strong Sept 22, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The apartment looks pretty good only you have to go outside and walk around the block to get into the bath-room - and you don't get the morning sunlight till the after-noon - besides, $15,000 a year is $2 more than I expected to pay - ad there's no private bath for the dog." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Well, dear, we're all moved and there's not a scratch on the furniture."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

"I apologize" Sept 23, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Submarine sinks liner "Insania" 88 lives lost. U.S. accepts Germany's apology." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Papa, I think you ought to send me to the dentist to have my teeth looked over - some of them might need pulling."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Don't worry, you'll get a good rest in the cemetery Sept 24, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You need a complete change - you must go to Sardine Springs for a few weeks." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "It's a shame for that poor woman to have to stand."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Those low, open, rolling collars for men should bring women nearer the vote Sept 25, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The only legitimate excuse a man can have for wearing his shirt like this that he lost his collar buttons. // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I can take a day off and play golf-There's no official note to send to Europe today.
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Father was right Sept 27, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "As you say, Herbert, it might be perfectly all right to wear a wrist-watch in Europe, but this isn't Europe." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "It is a hundred-mile drive, dear, and the map doesn't show a single place where we can stop for a bit to eat."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Father was right Sept 28, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I never thought I'd see a daughter of mine bleach her hair." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Mignon, don't try to grab that young man - he's got too much money."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Father was right Oct 1, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Father, it doesn't make any difference how fast we go - you are 88 years old and I carry $100,000 worth of accident insurance - we have nothing to lose." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: Motorcycle cop with a pleasant face."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 02

Our soldiers are so busy going to moving picture shows the invaders won't be able to find them. Oct 2, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Maybe the army is out in it's Ford" // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Don't be so mean - can't you lend me your glove for one inning?"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Anything slower than 200 miles an hour is called loafing Oct 6, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] De Palma, Resta, Oldfield, Burman, Mulford, and the other racings drivers are breaking records so fast we'll soon have to invent a new clock. // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "That man owns an automobile and never talks about it."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

It's all wrong, Paul, it's all wrong Oct 7, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I certainly enjoy doing this light work on six days of the week -" // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Let the Germans keep defeating us - we Russians should worry."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

War orders make $100,000 worth of ham & eggs look like a half portion Oct 8, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The tremendous war loans have had their effect on sidewalk conversation. // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I want to borrow five bucks - I can't pay it back for a long time - in fact I may never see you again."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Father was right Oct 11, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You'd be better off, Amos, if you studied Shakespeare and Dickens instead of sending all your time learning those funny noises that are called college yells." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I've stood him on his feet twenty times and he has fallen over each time."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

A moving picture doctor doesn't seem to have much regard for the hero's life. Oct. 13, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] John Celluloid, the hero, falls out of an aeroplane, lands on a train-load of dynamite, is blown through the window on to an automobile racetrack where 16 automobiles run over him and he is hit by a stray bullet from the gun of a sports man who is hunting fox in a nearby fur store. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Don't contradict me - I know that Turkey borders on Spain."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Preparedness need not necessarily interfere with your daily business Oct 14, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Office towel ready for use as army blanket." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I generally get a laugh out of this fellow's pictures but this is the worst I ever saw."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

Simple way to light a cigar in an automobile traveling fifty miles an hour. Oct 15, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] When automobiles speeds at fifty miles an hour motorcycle cop (A) starts in pursuit..." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "This cigar tastes like an old shoe - it's killing me."

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Inventions (Goldberg machines)
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

There's always somebody just a little more lonesome than you Oct 16, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] If you think this is the lonesomest man in the world - // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Darling, I want to be near you all the time."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

It's too bay they have to stop playing golf while they sleep Oct 21, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Well, well, if it isn't my old friend, Eddie Eggplant! Have lunch with me Tuesday." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: I know it's a beautiful day on the golf links, dear - but I'd rather stay home with you and help you put up jam."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 03

A shine would last much longer if you didn't have to take it with you Oct 22, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Tony, give me an extra fine shine - my wife is very particular about my shoes looking right when I come into the house." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I work 18 hours a day and get $7.00 a week and that fellow is in the office about 2 hours a day and gets $300 a week."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

Father was right Oct 28, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Never fall in love with someone you haven't met - there's no sense to it." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I tried to warn the man before I knocked him down."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

Father was right Oct 30, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Daughter, you shouldn't leave your child entirely in the hands of the maid - he needs a mother's care - you haven't talked to him for a year." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I've lost my tie pin!"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

It is difficult for the European countries to remember all their enemies Nov 12, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The war is becoming so complicated, when two soldiers meet on the field of battle they don't know whether to shoot or kiss." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "There goes a man who looks well in a derby."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

Don't be too liberal with your sympathies Nov 13, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "John used to walk as straight as a soldier but now he hangs his head like a man in great distress." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I'm against woman suffrage."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

A rich man's house is a good ad for him even if he doesn't live in it Nov 17, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] If rich men didn't build beautiful country homes, people in automobiles wouldn't have much to talk about. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "My wife's aunt is a fifth cousin of the Kaiser."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

Father was right Nov 19, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Didn't I tell you I don't want that Bulgarian fruithound around here any more!" // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "I love to see a woman carry a dog."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

A study in brain-concentration Nov 20, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I think I'll take this brown one for my new overcoat." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "That' the sixth time I've fallen over that rug today."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

You'll soon be able to buy dill pickles in a clothing store Nov 25, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The modern druggist doesn't have to know anything about drugs. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "We'll have to call off the game."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

Father was right Nov 27, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Take my advice boy, boy, and don't ask her what she wants for Christmas." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Yo'all treated me pretty nice dis yeah, boss, so I don' spec' nothin' fo' Christmas."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 04

What's the use of all this waste of energy when you never remember the name [?] Nov 29, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Why not have a numbered list o guests at the door and place the corresponding numbers on the guests' backs? // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "I've discovered that your wife is very jealous of me so I guess I'd better resign."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

Father was right Dec 3, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Better let them do it, Jim - they know what's inside the car." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "In appreciation of your remarks this evening the members of the club request me to present you with this beautiful loving cup."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

A handy traveling trunk has everything but a billiard table Dec 7, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] If they keep on improving trunks, you'll soon be able to live in them and save room rent. // [Additional panel(s):] Mister Alf of the alphabet: "I'll take the overcoat - how much is it?"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

As Herman the Great once said "The more you look the less you see" Dec 9, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Smart people do their Christmas shopping early - I'll go to a big store where I can quietly look over everything in the place and pick out something suitable for all my friends - it's all very simple." // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "Do you know what lamb a la caruso and oyster bryan and chicken soup and au constantinople and all these other fancy names mean?"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

Suggestion to save Christmas shoppers worry and fatigue Dec 20, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "If you don't see anything you like, ladies, I'll put on another record." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the Alphabet: "You do yourself a great wrong if you don't take one of our policies at once."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

The spirit in which the presents are given forces you to stand for anything Dec 27

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] It takes quite a lot of experimenting to find out what some of your Christmas presents really are. // [Additional panel(s):] Phoney films: "He's had that toy a whole day and it still works."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

Buy one of our 1916 Peace Calendars and hang it on the floor Dec 29, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I want you to help out the wounded goats of Africa." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "Yes, Eddie, he's my only son - did you ever see a more perfect baby in your life?"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

This picture has a lesson in it if you can find it Dec 30, 1915

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] So, you needn't waste any sympathy on yourself when you break your New Year's pledge.
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

Father was right Jan 3, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You'd better wear your rubbers, Lancelot - you can't be too careful in this weather." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "Advance and give the countersign."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.1--ffALB, folder 05

Adam and Eve had the best of it when it came to clothes Jan 5, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm late this morning in getting to the office." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "There's a fine-looking machine - just the kind I'd like to have -"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

It's all wrong, Cicero, it's all wrong Jan 7, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Now that I've become prominent I'll have to prepare a great speech to deliver at the banquets to which I'll probably be invited." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "I have investigated the temperance conditions of the town of Snakeville and this is my report."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

A picnic is not as stylish as a dinner party but it gives you more room for your elbows Jan 8, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] It is still one of the world's great mysteries why they seat twenty-nine people at a table that is meant for eight and expect them to be comfortable. // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "I lose $87.42."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

The fellow this happened to doesn't want his name mentioned Jan 12, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I want you to answer all my telephone calls today, Martin - I expect a call from Joe Mooch who wants to borrow money from me - when you hear his voice tell him I'm out of town." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "Haven't you any manners to stand there with your back to me -"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

The ice skating rinks are becoming so crowded they have to carry their own ice Jan 27, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "If this ice jitney doesn't pay, I can open a saloon and smash up the ice for cocktails." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "I've been ringing this messenger signal for two hours - I guess all the boys dropped dead."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

If the price of gasoline back going up you'll have to be a millionaire to ride across the sheet Feb 2, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] This man discovered that he still had two gallons of gasoline in his tank and had to call out the militia to keep off highwaymen who had their eyes on his treasure. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "The high price of gasoline is keeping me broke."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

It's hard to be optimistic when you have friends in the insurance business Feb 5, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The trouble with you is that you always think you're going to die - you'll be alright if you only keep your mind off the burying ground." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "Buy one of our lots and you'll double your money in a week."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

The least important thing about most calendars is the date Feb 7, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Let's see, what is today, Tuesday or Saturday? Or maybe it's Thursday?" // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "I'll have to arrest that man for undignified conduct."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

The most plausible way to select your new make of automobile Feb 9, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] As the different salesman speed their automobiles beneath you, cut the string holding you to the balloon and buy the machine you happen to fall into. // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "There's a man outside who wants to see you - here's his card."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

Father was right Feb 10, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I think we ought to name him something manly like "Steve" or "Spud" or "Pete"." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Young man have you any children?"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 01

An idle thought of a tired business man on Lincoln's birthday Feb 12, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I thought Lincoln abolished slavery." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Abraham Lincoln lived in a log cabin and was elected president."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Father was right Feb 17, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Now that you are married, Jules, you should put a little money aside for a rainy day - you have your own home now." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "I have a wife and 24 children and I need two dollars at once."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Bohemia must be a great place when you consider what Bohemians can get away with Feb 19, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] When an artist or a musician drinks himself speechless they call him a Bohemian and admiringly look upon the booze as an inspiration o his genius. // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "There goes grandfather in his high hat and everything."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

It's all wrong, Kid McCoy, it's all wrong Feb 25, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] ""Battling Schultz" fights tonight at the Slam-bang Athletic Club" // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "Telegraph for Mister Phoney."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

The butcher's favorite song, "The boy is on the way" Feb 26, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Hello, is this Meatball and Co.? Where are those chops I ordered?" // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "We have eggs, eggs, and eggs."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

There's always one of these on every jury Feb 28, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I still hold out for a verdict of guilty of murder in the first degree - the shape of the prisoner's ears is absolute proof of his guilt." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "This invitation gives me a great chance to bust into society."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Baseball recruits indulge in heavy brainwork at opening of training season Mar 6, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Training recruits to address an umpire in the proper terms. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "This home-run will win the game and get my name in the papers all over the country."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

It wouldn't be so bad if they'd give you a shoe-horn or a bird cage once in a while Mar 27, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Mike, let me give you one of the souvenir pencils our brewing company is getting out -" // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "Here's a letter from Archie who went out west to take up mining."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

It's all wrong, Venus, it's all wrong Mar 8, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm so happy I've been invited to the big Bohemian costume ball where all the artists come together every year" // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "I'll sign these new plans for the new jail with the usual "R.A." showing that I'm a registered architect."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Riding in elevators needs practice just like eating olives Mar 9, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] If you are thinking of renting an office in one of those tall sky-scrapers it is a good idea to first accustom yourself to the elevator service. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I dropped a penny in that machine and didn't get any gum."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 02

Edison's talking pictures weren't a success, either Mar 11, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Oh, I get the idea now - the Queen was a waitress before she married the king and she recognizes the king's prime minister as the old cook in the beanery where she used to work -" // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I'll take a good aim at his chin, pull my right hand back slowly and let him have it right square on the point of the jaw."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

It's different when you can afford to be nervous Mar 21, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "She's so healthy and independent-just the kind of a wife I want." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "I want a suite of rooms with six baths."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

And all along you thought she only cared for pink teas and the opera Mar 23, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "There's no chance for me - I'm only a millionaire." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I wonder where I can buy a ticket to the Willard-Moran fight."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

We needn't worry about getting volunteers if we go to war Mar 28, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "In your income tax report I find you did not mention the nickel you made on November 6th for holding a man's horse." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "My doctor told me to have this prescription filled."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

The only excuse for this picture is the date Apr 1, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Well, I've thought everything over and have decided -" // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "$55,000,000,000 worth of ore was just discovered in your oatmeal mine -"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

Celebrating an anniversary is very sweet if you don't make it a [?] business Apr 5, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I certainly love a nice quiet restful evening at home." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "These shoes are falling apart."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

She probably thinks the milliner's time is worth 5 [cents] a year Apr 6, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I want a nice spring hat - this one looks fair but It is too much like the one Mrs. Soupmeat just bought." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: After a careful diagnosis of the case I can only say N.H."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

When a rich man sneezes they set it to music Apr 7, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] When an unknown man says something important he's lucky if he is not arrested - but - when a famous person mumbles something foolish, he is quoted all over the world. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I didn't do anything wrong but there's a cop right in back of me running his head off."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

You're lucky to get near enough to a girl to telephone to her [Apr 11 ?] 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The new wide hood skirts make it almost impossible to get close enough to a girl to invite her to lunch. // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "My name's Professor Noise - I'd like to teach your children to play the violin."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

The owl is not the only animal that can see in the dark Apr 8, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Looking for seats at the movies develops the eye-sight so you can see very distinctly in the dark. // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "Come next door quick."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 03

It would have been easier to tell him to in the first place Apr 14, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "That pest McEmpty is on the wire - he wants to call on you tonight." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I can't get rid of this dog and I'll miss a date -"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

It's all wrong, Oscar, it's all wrong Apr 13, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Please give me something to eat - I'm starving to death." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I'm ashamed of this country - we're going to the dogs."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

The spring air awakens the poetic instincts in all of us Apr 18, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Almost any old thing is an inspiration for springtime poetry. // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "Seeing that you are new tenants in the house I thought I'd call on you and make you feel at home."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

Roosevelt started something when he found the bird that eats nuts and barks like a dog Apr 15, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Mister Largebundle, what have you to say about the financial outlook for this country." // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "I saw the sign outside, "M. Knockdown & Co." Are you Mr. Knockdown?"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

A certain man makes good automobiles and now they want to run him for President Apr 25, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Fixing the future of their child according to the present standards. // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "I must have two dollars right away or I'm ruined."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

What's the use of paying office rent when you're always on the golf links May 1, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm sorry, but he's busy now - I'll make an appointment for you to talk over that $2,000,000 cheese deal at the thirteenth hole." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I have to go to Florida on business -"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

It is surprising there are any movie actors left after looking at the films May 3, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The movie producers seem to be afraid the public will lose interest if somebody doesn't die every two minutes. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "When these important papers fly all over the place -"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

The place occupied by those big hats need not go to waste May 11, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm all broken up because I'll miss my yearly visit to King George's wife" // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "This cold ocean water kills me."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 04

It's too bad the baby doesn't know how smart it is May 12, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Little does a baby realize that it's first word is more important that any number of words it might say later in life when it grows to be a man. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Someone is in the next room"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Father was right May 13, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Don't you think it is a good idea to look her family over first" // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "In your letter you signed yourself "Gen. John Bugs"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

When the first straw hat appeared May 19, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Nobody seems to care whether I'm dead or alive - I'll have to attract attention in some way - I'll stand on the sidewalk and shoot myself." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "These pants are so long they wear out at the bottom -"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Modesty can be studied just like juggling and ventriloquism May 20, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] When the movie star makes a personal tour of the picture theatres. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "Good morning, Mister Bezitz - have a seat."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

A real tragedy May 23, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I gained a pound!" // [Additional panel(s):] Old man Alf of the alphabet: "Your Majesty, H.R.H. the Duke of Mustard is outside."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

The war has forced the Germans to make bread from wood pulp May 24, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Attacking a loaf of war bread. // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I've been hunting seven hours for that golf ball -"
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

It was a perfectly natural position for him at that May 25, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It looks a little cloudy, so I don't think I'll buy a straw hat today." // [Additional panel(s):] I never thought of that: "I'm all worn out chasing around to different apartment houses."
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Father was right May 29, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Throw your shoulders back and stand up straight - I'm 72 years old and I look younger than you." // [Additional panel(s):] Boob News - things in the day's happening that no one cares to know: Tremendous crowds turn out to greet Elias J. Celluloid as he starts on his great campaign for municipal clock-winder.
volume 1964.047 v.04 pt.2--ffALB, folder 05

Will sinking of S.S. Derby start another serve of diplomatic [?]? May 31, 1916

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] This is a direct violation of the international law of headgear." // [Additional panel(s):] Boob News - this important film was taken by our cameraman at the risk of everybody's life but his own: 39,000,000 biscuits being shipped to the allies from bakery owned by Philip T. Shoelace to be used for ammunition - this deadly form of torture is expected to bring about early close of the war.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 01

Father didn't lose anything -- he was only thinking June 1, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "After thinking the matter over, I've decided that we'll stay in town for the summer" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "It's funny I can't open this bath room door"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 01

A golfer who is not a liar is no golfer June 2, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "That's the tenth time I've missed it-I don't seem to be playing a very good game" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I don't know what to do this summer-I don't like the seashore"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 01

It would be a great surprise if everybody didn't know it already June 5, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "And, dearest, I haven't told a soul that we've been going together…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "All you able-bodied men owe it to your country to…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 01

[Father was right] "No, dad, I can't see that golf thing, at all…" June 7, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Nobody would ever think, to see poor dad with all those foolish golf sticks…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] "I have to get home early-grandpa's coming to dinner"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 01

[Sweep out the padded cell] Joe, sweep out padded cell 763 June 9, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My only ambition is to save enough to buy a cheap little car and make you happy" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] An interesting review of nothing and a lot of it.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 01

It is a very easy matter to find a golf ball if you know how June 12, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Attach a basket of seeds to the golf ball-when the ball lands…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I wonder why everybody thinks I'm such a grouch"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 01

You ask him up to spend the evening and he moves in June 20, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] A gentle hint to an interesting bachelor who doesn't know when it's time to go home. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] Interesting happenings in the lives of serious gentlemen whom nobody ever heard of.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 01

To become a good golfer, buy a complete outfit & forget to use it June 21, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] He decides to take up the game. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I never played golf and I don't want to play it"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 01

There must be something in that preparedness idea they're all talking about June 22, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Won't hurt you if you behave yourself on the way to the station" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] Let your children follow this and save the expense of sending them to school-they won't be able to go.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 01

No kidding! The women will wear half-hose this summer June 10, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Why do you hang your head, Joe? Did you do something you're ashamed of?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] A review of the days happenings in the field of politics, science, art, literature and junk.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 02

It's all wrong, Abner, it's all wrong June 23, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm sick of all the up-to-date conveniences of city life…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I can't stand a dirty shirt when I'm traveling"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 02

Among other things, you show your individuality while in bathing June 24, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The slip-me-the-dough stroke-a natural style of swimming for lawyers and doctors. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] Including the latest fashions in yawning and eating soup.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 02

[men and women holding handles on a subway train.] June 26, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] Exclusive films-nobody else will print them.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 02

[Sweep out the padded cell] Andre, sweep out padded cell 39,746 June 27, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Now that you have asked me to marry you, I have nothing more to wish for" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I have to get up at six in the morning and-"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 02

[Father was right] "My son, no man can do good work and keep fresh unless he takes a vaction once a year" June 28, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Let me follow my own system, you poor boob…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "Walking around with the sun shining down on top of your head"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 02

[Father was right] "Come on, son-we'll take a nice, quiet row around the lake" June 29, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "That's dead stuff-a speedy motor boat is my dish" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "That woman needs my protection"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 02

She may not be so crazy about you but she certainly appreciates the ring July 1, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I had it made to order at Stiffany's after a design I saw in England when I was visiting the queen" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Phoney films] "I think I'll move up and make room for the people who are just getting on the car"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 02

That's right, let the boy have a good time July 4, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Yes, you're only young once-I believe in giving a child plenty of freedom and excitement" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] Our cameraman, J.T. Snap, spent two months with the U.S. Army in Mexico-he was a bit lonesome with so few people around but bore up bravely.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 02

[Sweep out the padded cell] Abner, sweep out padded cell 842 July 5, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "If I could only make a six-foot dive I'd be happy" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] Learn what is going on while you are away for the summer-let us do your thinking for you.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 02

"Coming down on the car this morning" July 10, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I thought of a great idea for a cartoon" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] An educational feature.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 03

Why give the mosquito any… July 6, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] After a few rehearsals of these mostquito-slapping strokes, you can go to the country… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I don't have a minutes rest with that dog around"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 03

[Father was right] "This old uniform brings back the stirring days of the civil war…" July 7, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "This war stuff is the bunk-I'm a family man and I belong at home…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] "Mother, I think we'd better shoot father-he's delaying the meal"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 03

[Sweep out the padded cell] Barney, sweep out padded cell 3742 1/2 July 11, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It would be wonderful if I could get her up to forty-five miles an hour" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "It feels as though there is a tack on this chair"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 03

After all, it is merely a question of surroundings July 12, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Alec Smith, the champion mixer of soft drinks, lost his job at the soda fountain… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "Don't stand there gazing at me like a simp"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 03

It's all wrong, Irma, it's all wrong July 13, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It's three o'clock in the morning-these late hours are killing me…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "Say, I can't stand here at this phone"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 03

[Sweep out the padded cell] Lee, sweep out padded cell 9376 July 14, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "A good week's rest will fix me up in great shape" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I feel great-a man, representing the Belgian Relief Committee, just…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 03

Precautions to take before leaving for the country July 15, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm afraid to go home because everybody in the family will think I'm a lounge and sit on me" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] "Dearie, you must be more economical…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 03

You don't have to go to an amusement park for dangerous forms of pleasure July 17, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I didn't order any chopped meat!" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I want to make a hit with this letter…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 03

[Sweep out the padded cell] Amos, sweep out padded cell 4631

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "This is a cute moonstone, but if I only had a diamond ring I'd be happy" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] Censored.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 03

[Father was right] "You know, son, you don't have to eat everything on the bill just because we're paying by the week…" July 19, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I believe in going the limit when it doesn't cost any more…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I'm only up to the thirteenth hole and…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 04

In a large family it takes a genius to keep track of his own toothbrush July 20, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "There's the string just as I left it last night" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] Boiled egg woods. Alexander J. Freightcar wins fat man's race at…
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 04

You can make mosquito bites a pleasure by scratching to music July 21, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] As long as you know the mosquitoes are going to have their own way… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "Look at the wonderful watch I bought for 60 cents from a guy across the street"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 04

[Sweep out the padded cell] Sig, sweep out padded cell 1492 July 22, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It's awful, sitting here alone in the apartment all day waiting for Eric…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "It's terrible out here in the country…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 04

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] Signor Pasquale Tomato plays a selection entitled "the blessings of nature"… July 23, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm going to sue the proprietor of this hotel because he said this part of the coast was safe from aerial attacks" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] The plain looker.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 04

Girls, if you like to be alone, marry a golf player July 24, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "This is your son Otto-he was four months old Tuesday…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "These pebbles are cutting my feet to ribbons"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 04

It's all wrong, Herman, it's all wrong July 25, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "This $300 camera has 18 adjustments on it…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "The doctor told me I must get into a high altitude but…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 04

They can't arrest us for showing you how to beat the prohibition laws July 26, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] An attachment like this will make it easy to get a drink in your home without arousing suspicion. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] "The house is full so you'll have to sleep in the maid's room"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 04

One of our soldiers on the border was married by mail July 28, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Dear wife: I'm broke and can't support you. Look over this menu…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] Breakneck speedway, I.I.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 04

[Sweep out the padded cell] Ralph, sweep out padded cell 6416 July 31, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I just want to learn a few popular songs for my own amusement" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "This board is so long it will make…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 04

Since that German submarine got safely across the ocean Aug 1, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Shall I kill him with one blow or talk him to death?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] Dorey Lake, Maine. Henry M. Mosquitobite, the well-known banker…
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 05

[Mother was right] "Put all your nickels in this bank so you can buy something useful" Aug 5, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Boob news] Well-known actor executes daring feat before the camera…
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 05

You might as well take the tortures of civilization gracefully Aug 7, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] As long as you know that people will lie all over you in the cars, why not wear a set of pillows and make them all comfortable. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "There's nothing more delightful than a ride in a canoe"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 05

Catching trains is a day's work in itself Aug 8, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Get up John" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "That's funny-everything seems to be dark"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 05

[Father was right] "Remember, Doris, this fellow Bonetop who is calling on you this evening is a…" Aug 10, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Good evening Mr. Bonetop-I'm so glad you're following up our seaside romance" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I never seem to be able to…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 05

You can finish a book in bed if the book doesn't wear out Aug 12, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Here's a book called 'The Broken Nose' that I've been wanting to read for years…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "This is terrible-I've been ringing the bell for half an hour…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 05

[Mother was right] "If you want to write poetry, why don't you write something somebody can understand!" Aug 14, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I've got my great poem almost finished but I can't…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 05

Giving the movie fans their money's worth Aug 15, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It's always my luck to arrive in the middle of a long picture…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "How do you like my long monogram?"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 05

[Sweep out the padded cell] Tony, sweep out padded cell 203 Aug 17, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Business is so bad I'd be satisfied to have just one customer for a quick shave" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "That's funny-I'm a perfectly good drawing but…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 05

Pride goeth before a golf ball Aug 21, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Didn't I tell you it disturbs me if anybody breathes heavily?..." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] "I can't sleep at night worrying how I can make a living"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 05

[This all comes under the heading of pleasure] "Here's a bath-house for you, sir"

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "A business man like myself is entitled to a little pleasure once a year" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Telephonies] "Come over tonight, Arthur-my beautiful niece from Halifax is visting me this week"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 05

[But it doesn't mean anything] "One-piece bathing suits strictly forbidden on this beach." Aug. 9, [1923]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm glad there is a little modesty somewhere in the world…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Steve himself] "Where is Steve? Has he met with foul play? Have you anything to tell the police?"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 06

[Sweep out the padded cell] Victor, sweep out padded cell 7961 Aug 24, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'd give anything if I didn't have to get up at 6 o'clock to go to work" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] "I envy the man that can afford to have his clothes made to order"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 06

It's all wrong, Maximilian, it's all wrong Aug 25, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "This is what I call pretty soft-the McBankbook's have invited me to spend the week-end at their swell summer home…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "The man in that automobile must be very happy-I certainly envy him"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 06

Absence makes the bed grow softer Aug 29, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "That's strange-the sheets are white! There must be some mistake" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It's pretty soft for the guys that can afford to take out swell chorus girls…
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 06

Try this system of indexing your records Aug 30, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Place the name of the dog opposite the record he carries-when his name is called he jumps off the table and runs to you… "I'd like to hear Mme. De Screech sing the grunting song from 'La Groan'" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I guess we're stuck here for the rest of the day"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 06

[Mother was right] "If you're not careful you'll take on flesh like I did-you must watch yourself" Sept 2, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Nothing can spoil my figure-I'm naturally slender" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It must be great to have enough money so you never have to think about getting up"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 06

[Sweep out the padded cell] Ulysses, sweep out padded cell 13 Sept 5, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My only ambition is to serve the people in my own small way…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "My son, it hurts me to feel that I can't afford to give you the advantage of a musical education"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 06

No brains, no brains! Sept 6, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "There goes the telephone again" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I could buy those American beauties for my girl"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 06

There is at least one uninvited guest at every picnic Sept 6, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The thrilling moment at every picnic when Sebastian, the bold son of the family, attacks the strange bug that lands on the lunch and nearly spoils the day. "How will we know it's dead? It may try to fool us" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I've lost my dog?"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 06

Signs of Peace Sept 7, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The dill pickles don't seem to agree with the ice cream" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Slackers] The guy that goes for a drink when it is his turn to dance with the wall-flowers.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 06

The best time to read the morning paper is [in the afternoon, crossed out] when you get a chance Sept 7, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "There's no better enjoyment than reading the morning paper at the breakfast table" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It must be great to have a motor-boat with nothing to do but sit still and enjoy the trip"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 07

[Sweep out the padded cell] Maurice, sweep out padded cell 4962 Sept 8, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "All I need is a dancing lesson or two so I'll be able to make myself agreeable at affairs like this" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I've been falling over that broken board"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 07

[No brains, no brains!] "Well, well, if it isn't my dear old friend Josephus McClump!" Sept 9, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "How are you, Joe? Any little ones running around the house?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Slackers] The bootblack that does a lot of acrobatic stunts and forgets to shine your shoes in the back.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 07

Another prisoner of War Sept 11, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] [a boy walks to scool followed by giant military figures labeled: spelling, arithmatic, history, geography] // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I could afford to have a governessfor little Saul"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 07

Wives will form a union and strike next Sept 13, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I demand two more dolls, fewer kisses from homely aunts, and a new nurse" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It must be wonderful to have enough money to take a long trip on a train"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 07

[Mother was right] "Daughter, I don't want to butt into your affairs because you were just married" Sept 14, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "But I think you ought to let me show you how to cook" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I had enough money to buy a home out in the country where my family could get some fresh air"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 07

"I'm a peaceful king and have always done my best to make my people happy…" Sept 15, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Again, I don't want to cause any trouble…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I don't understand why you don't like this little hat"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 07

Is there anything more hazy than a woman's decription of a show? Sept 18, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Yes, Andrew, I enjoyed the show immensely…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It must be great to have a horse do all the work for you"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 07

In these days of great big moving picture productions Sept 21, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I thought this town had 50,000 inhabitants" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It's terrible-I can't afford to hire a maid to help my wife do the housework"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 07

[Sweep out the padded cell] Ernest, sweep out padded cell 3288 Sept 22, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "All I want is the privelage of selling you a pair of these 38-cent socks" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I wonder why my nose…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 07

The influence of the war on the football season Sept 25, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] European war names will furnish the rooters with a collection of new noises for the football cheers. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I could afford to hire a lawyer to protect me in my business deals"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 08

When Jake Daubert was called out after making his home-run… Oct 11, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "There's Cutshaw-he lives on my beat"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 08

When you enter a street car you [?] there's nothing in the world but feet Oct 10, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Now I know what a tough job the Italian army is having to cross the Alps" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I've had that expensive clock only eight days and…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 08

The war is still forcing prices up and sized down Oct 9, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] One way to beat the high price of clothes. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It must be great to have a job where you can take care of your hands and get a manicure once in a while"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 08

It's all wrong, Balboa, it's all wrong Oct 6, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I must compliment you, Norman, on the high mark you received in geography…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "That's funny-the water has been running half an hour…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 08

To look at a carpenter, you'd think he was directing the armies of Europe Oct 4, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] [carpenter measuring and making calculations.] // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "The guide book says that you turn to the right near an old wooden house"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 08

As long as you are going to sleep at the movies why not be comfortable? Oct 3, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Some enterprising moving pictures manager can become wealthy… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "Little woman, some day I hope to earn enough so you can open a charge account in all the big stores"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 08

The other fellow generally doesn't know any more than you Oct 2, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm for Hughes-he's the only man for the presidential chair" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "You can't vote-your name isn't down here in the book"

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Chinese Americans -- Politics and government.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 08

There's a little philosophy in back of everything that looks foolish Sept 28, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Life is a lot like an acrobatic act in vaudeville-you use up much valuable time and employ the greatest… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It must be wonderful to have a lot of money so you can do charitable deeds and help your unfortunate fellow beings"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 08

[Mother was right] "Where are you going, daughter?" Sept 27, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Over to the book store" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "That's funny this is an expensive brand of cigar that Carl…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 08

You dig up a lot of old memories every time you move Sept 26, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Enrico, empty out the bureau-the moving van will be here any minute" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "It's ten minutes walk to the station and…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 09

Political news seems to be a matter of sentiment Oct 24, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] This man didn't attend the political meeting because he thought he could read the full account… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I had the money to go abroad"

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Chinese Americans -- Politics and government.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 09

[Sweep out the padded cell] Steve, sweep out padded cell 8742 Oct 23, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Maxwell, I know everything is high now, so I'll be perfectly satisfied with a cheap set of goat-skin furs" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It's awful for a man with my artistic taste to use these cheap dishes…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 09

If you believe all the candidates for the same office you'll be ashamed to vote Oct 21, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "That nominee should be sent to jail for life-it is lucky ou have a chance… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "There was no bottle of cream in front of my door his morning…"

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Chinese Americans -- Politics and government.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 09

[Mother was right] "I simply adore dogs" Oct 20, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It is foolish to keep a dog in an apartment-both for yourself and for the dog" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I certainly envy the fellows that can afford to belong to exclusive clubs…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 09

Why not give a dance when you first turn on the radiator? Oct 19, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Adrian, that radiator keeps much better time than ours" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I'll go broke the price of flour is going up…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 09

Step inside ladies and gentlemen, the show is no going on! Oct 17, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Kossovo bajazet ghan seljuk osman…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Foolish questions] "Are the Italians and Turks having a war?"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 09

It is harder to get out of a department store elevator than jail Oct 16, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The wife told me to stop in this department store for a minute and get some hair pins" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor woman, rich woman: "I wish I could afford to own a set of furs"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 09

[Sweep out the padded cell] Hoyle, sweep out padded cell 739" Oct 14, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Boys, we'll have a nice ten-cent limit game of poker-it is always more sociable when you play for small stakes" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "This sweeping raises so much dust"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 09

Special page for music-lovers Oct 13, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Great discovery! A man has been found… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I'll have to jump for the ferry boat if I want to make it"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 09

It's all wrong, Orson, it's all wrong Oct 11, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Here I am at last in the home of the free and brave…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "The man who owns that 57-story office building must be very happy"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 10

Some people don't find trouble -- they carry it with them Nov 7, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Say, Central, what are you doing, adjusting your wig or fixing your wooden leg?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I could afford to leave my business long enough to…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 10

Old politicians make predictions on tomorrow's election Nov 5, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The winning candidate's phone will be kept busy by people who are looking for jobs but not for work" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "My election is absolutely certain"

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Chinese Americans -- Politics and government.
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 10

It's all wrong, Ezra, it's all wrong Nov 4, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've been a traveling salesman for thirty-one years and have visited every bum town in the United States" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I love expensive rugs but I can't afford to have them"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 10

It is hard to find a reason for some things Nov 2, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Walking around this house is like crossing the Alps-I can't walk a step with out taking a chance of breaking my neck" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I could afford to move into an apartment that has steam heat"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 10

[Father was right] "You can't fool the voters when you are running for office…" Nov 1, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "If you hand them a little bull they'll do anything" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "My eyes will be ruined from…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 10

It's all wrong, Omar, it's all wrong Oct 30, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm lonesome and blue-I'll get a bun on and forget my troubles" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "Well, I've got my ice skates and am all ready"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 10

It is dangerous to present a letter of introduction Oct 28, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm visiting this town for a few days for pleasure…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "It's funny I've got my umbrella up"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 10

Movie vampires have it all their own way these days Oct 27, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] In the movies, the vampire woman simply rolls her eyes and her victim is ready for the scrap heap. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I had enough money to retire"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 10

The only men left in Europe after the war will be the simps Oct 26, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The line is twelve blocks long and I'm afraid of a stampede" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I'm afraid I'll spoil the picture because…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 10

It's all wrong, Seymour, it's all wrong Oct 25, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "A man my size hasn't very much reserve strength and…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I'd love to smoke strong Havana cigars if I could only afford it"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 11

Holding office is simply a matter of attending official banquets Nov 25, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "As soon as I'm able to eat a locomotive wheel I'll feel strong enough to shoulder the responsibilities of the president of my lodge" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I've been chewing this gum for five hours"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 11

The dancing fever recognizes no age limit Nov 24, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Things are very quiet around the house these days…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It hurts me to see my poor wife do all the washing…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 11

And now he's looking for the author of "Home Sweet Home" Nov 21, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I left the office early today so I could rush home and enjoy our new furniture" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I can't go out looking this way"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 11

Every sight-seeing trip includes these Nov 20, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Monument to the honorable Llewelyn J. Jellyhead, who introduced petty larceny in the public schools and filled our jails. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "A fellow with a face like mine has no chance in life"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 11

Lucille, sweep out padded cell 31964 Nov 18, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I think I'd look just about right with sleeves a trifle shorter and a collar just a bit lower" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I could go down to one of those tropical countries…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 11

If you've ever taken a boat trip you've met this bunch Nov 16, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Captain, why don't you stop the ship at night so you can keep regular hours?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "This tropical country is full of strange bugs and…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 11

And imported dog collars are worth $67 apiece, too Nov 13, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I once guarded a truck-load of gold leaving the mint…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "The girls don't seem to know that I'm alive…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 11

[Sweep out the padded cell] Elmer, sweep out padded cell 9973 Nov 11, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Dad, I just want to play a little football on one of the scrub teams…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I wonder if they delivered the right pair of shoes"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 11

You can't accomplish the impossible, so why worry? Nov 9, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll have to get up now-I've got a million things to do today…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I hate to come to this dump to play billiards but I can't afford to have a table at home"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 11

Clothing concerns must spend a lot of money for paper Nov 8, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll take this suit" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I designed this little suit-case myself"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

It is bound to happen so you may as well be prepared Dec 30, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You needn't think just because this is New Year's Eve you can insult my life" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I can't stand this noise any longer"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

The Hawaiian epidemic has done this to our souvenir calendar Dec 29, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Good-bye Fooladooa" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I received a hundred New Year's cards…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

[It costs too much to live and you can't afford to die] "I'll reserve a table for New Year's Eve a few days in advance so I won't be disappointed when the time comes" Dec 26, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The only thing I have left is this small table near the kitchen…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I'm in a terrible fix"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

A Christmas story entitled "The old rag doll" Dec 25, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] [child looking at dolls with tags on them] // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I can't afford to give any Christmas presents, so, of course, nobody gives me anything."
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

The fact still remains that Julius is a good boy Dec. 22, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Papa, here are your slippers" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "McSausage McSausage McSausage…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

[It costs too much to live and you can't afford to die] "Say, doctor, you are the only man that can save my life…" Dec 21, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You know, the price of operations has gone up on account of the war…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "If I want to read in bed I have to break my back"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

There's a day set aside for everything but eating Dec 19, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Dear, I'd like to invite my friend Henry up to the house for dinner some night next week" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I just had enough money to buy…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

There are still a few new places to hide Christmas gifts Dec 18, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Four of the robbers got away but I knocked…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I could afford to buy another spoon for my dessert"

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Holidays -- Christmas
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

[Mother was right] "Daughter, take my advice and do your Christmas shopping now…" Dec 9, 1916

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm too tired to shop today…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] "I wish I could afford to take my wife shopping for Christmas presents"

Subjects and Indexing Terms

Holidays -- Christmas
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

[It costs too much to live and you can't afford to die] "Now that you've accepted me, sweetheart, I'll rush downtown and buy the ring" Dec 8, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I can already see myself in my country home…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I wonder what day Christmas falls on this year"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

Suggestions for Christmas gifts Dec 7, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Germ-receiver-for the gentleman who stis in back of you at the theater… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It must be great to be able to get a new pair of shoes every time you need them"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

[It costs too much to live and you can't afford to die] "The wife told me to get some bread for dinner tonight…" Dec 5, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Hello, baker-send enough bread up to my house for six children, my wife and myself" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I could afford to have a secretary near me…"
volume 1964.047 v.05--ffALB, folder 12

If you are going to take a sea trip, make up your mind to raise a beard Nov 27, [1916]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm going in my stateroom to shave myself" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "That fly has been bothering me…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 01

And still apartment house superintendents wonder why they are so unpopular Jan 24, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] This tenant was shot by burglars while waiting for the apartment house superintendent to fix the lock on the front door. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] "While you were out to your bridge party I taught the baby the letters of the alphabet"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 01

[Father was right] "My son, never spend money you think you are going to get…" Jan 23, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You're getting old" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] "Yes, I've got the greatest kid in the world-he's not a bit of care"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 01

Can this be called cruelty to animals? Jan 22, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My nest is on the other side of town and I can't get home to my wife and family" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] "It's strange how a little child like Otto just naturally develops a great love for his daddy"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 01

[Father was right] "Son, it is pretty wet out-I think you'd better wear your rubbers today" Jan 12, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm a young feller-rubbers are made for people who are in danger of dying of old age" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "My expensive rugs are ruined from…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 01

A story of wasted youth Jan 11, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] He studied hard and got his diploma in literature. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Slackers] The guy who buys a cheap present for his girl and sends it to her in an expensive box.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 01

War materials need not go to waste when peace comes Jan 9, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Tomorrow I'll cook my breakfast with my consolidated ambulance wheel stock" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "That Egyptian duck is a bargain for fifty cents"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 01

It's all wrong, Agamemnon, it's all wrong Jan 6, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I've been wounded forty-seven times…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I could afford to buy a diamond tie pin"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 01

A telephone call always livens up the household Jan 5, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] There is always great excitement in the house when the phone rings around dinner-time… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I could take my wife to Palm Beach, Florida for a few weeks this winter"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 01

[Father was right] "Son, you look good in that outfit-but you musn't forget that…" Jan 4, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Why, little children know how to skate-there's nothing to it…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I've been trying to get in here for an hour"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 01

The pleasure of ice skating can be made part of the day's work Jan 3, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Now, remember, the high notes are low and the loud notes are soft" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "That's funny-it doesn't seem cold enough for an overcoat but…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 02

You get tired hearing your friends say, "Got a match?" Feb 8, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Everybody in the office kept asking this man for a match… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] Maybe Mrs. Boob forgot to listen when Boob expressed his opinion.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 02

[Sweep out the padded cell] Charlotte, sweep out padded cell 397,410 Feb 7, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'd be satisfied if I could just skate well enough to keep on my feet" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] It was only paper, so you can't blame the kid.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 02

Unionized baseball Feb 5, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "We just discovered that there's a non-union elevator boy working in the leather factory…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] Boob is not acquainted with the possibilities of the latest fashions.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 02

[Father was right] "You shouldn't allow your wife to do so much work-why don't you get a maid to help her?" Feb 1, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The exercise will do her good-besides, I save a lot of money by not having a maid around" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] Apparently, Mrs. Boob doesn't expect an answer.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 02

The traffic signals might come in handy for home use Jan 31, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "What is she waiting for? The road's clear!" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] Boob has an opinion, but that's all.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 02

Science doesn't seem to have much in common with pleasure Jan 30, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The air in this room is terrible-Doctor Windbag, the ozone specialist…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] Boob pays the rent and his interest in things seems to end there.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 02

It's all wrong, Lucille, it's all wrong Jan 29, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "This is the sixteenth hat I've tried on and still I'm not suited" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] Mrs. Boob always has her mind made up beforehand.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 02

There's a limit to convenience even in automobiles Jan 27, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'd like to buy an automobile that will suit my needs" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] "The butcher is here for the order for tomorrow's dinner…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 02

Another great question that Congress probably can't answer Jan 26, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Johann, why don't you ask Mister Pettingill where he gets his clothes?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] "The milliner sent this hat on approval and the boy is waiting outside for my answer"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 02

He should feel honored that his wife depends so much on him Jan 25, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "We'll form a company and incorporate for $200,000…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] "Yes, I've got to hand it to myself for knowing how to bring up a child…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 03

Perhaps you've been in this predicament yourself Mar 10, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The waiters and customers look so much alike I can't tell which is which…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] "This life is like a garden fair,"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 03

When the big hotels are overcrowded Mar 8, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Say, landlord, there's no hot water in my room" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] "The nectar of the gods I'll brew"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 03

Nothing makes you think faster than the arrival of a telegram Mar 3, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Here's a telegram for Mister Ippleskiff" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] War, like charity, begins at home.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 03

Fortunately, eggs don't always break easily Mar 1, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll try your act at $10 for one week to fill in between the movies" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] You don't have to know much to think of these-try it.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 03

[Father was right] "My boy, why don't you enlist like I did during the civil war?" Feb 26, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I love my country very much but how can I leave the girl I'm engaged to? It will break her heart" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] The horse belongs in the family; he's foolish, too.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 03

[Sweep out the padded cell] Douglas, sweep out padded cell 9375 Feb 24, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The one-reel picture is a bit too short to hold the crowd…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] The kind of poetry doesn't matter, as long as you can keep time to it.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 03

[It costs too much to live and you can't afford to die] "Joel, we'll freeze to death if you don't get some coal" Feb 20, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Well, I've got $2-that ought to keep us warm for a little while" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] Maybe you can think of one of these yourself.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 03

A little reminder Feb 12, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] A note on your memorandum pad just to remind you that you've got something to think about today. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] It's only natural for the little Boob to inherit his poetic talent from his father.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 03

Suggestions for costumes for the annual masquerade ball Feb 10, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Go as a war bulletin if you want to leave something to the imagination. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] At times, Otto shows a flash of intelligence.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 03

[It costs too much to live and you can't afford to die] "Take me to see 'It's all wrong'-everybody says it's a wonderful show" Feb 9, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I want a couple of good seats for tonight" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [The Boob family] Apparently the old man seldom looks in the mirror.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 04

Some men think life is just one good story after another Apr 14, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Did you ever hear the one about the old lady who used to cut her husband's hair?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "There's always a bunch of papers scattered all over my desk and…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 04

The periscope is too good a thing to limit to submarines Apr 9, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm sorry for the poor wives whose husbands keep looking around at other women" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "The day was bright, though the air was chill"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 04

[Sweep out the padded cell] Chief, sweep out padded cell 77421 Apr 6, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm the fire inspector-I just dropped in to look around" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "Can't you see, stupid, that the allies will have to surrender in six months if the u-boat campaign keeps up!"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 04

It's the spring air that does it Mar 28, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Lester, will you wait on a gentleman who is outside" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It must be great to live in a place where they have nice polished hard-wood floors"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 04

[It costs too much to live and you can't afford to die] "I want to buy some writing paper so I can write home for money-I'm almost broke" Mar 26, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Paper is very high now-I can let you have a few sheets for $2.10" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "The Fates have made a mighty vow"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 04

Spring styles will center around oriental & domestic junk Mar 19, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "What's the matter-did the neighbors stop you from throwing those things in the back yard?" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I'm certainly in tough luck-I was knocked down by a street car and I can't afford to hire a good lawyer"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 04

[It costs too much to live and you can't afford to die] "I'm a plain man with a plain family-the potato is simple food but it's good enough for us" Mar 17, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I have the only sack of potatoes in town-seeing that you're an old customer I'll let you have…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "Hail to thee, forget-me-not,"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 04

It's all wrong, Babette, it's all wrong Mar 15, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My legs are not very pretty but I'll soon be old enough to wear long skirts" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "This telephone service is terrible"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 04

Pasquale, sweep out padded cell 47364 Mar 13, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I think this is a good reasonable price-I want to give the workingman a chance" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I could afford to hire a French maid for little Sylvester"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 04

[It costs too much to live and you can't afford to die] "The doctor told me I should eat a tomato every night before going to bed"I Mar 12, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The least I can do is to buy my wife a tomato" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "This knife is so dull it wouldn't make a dent"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 05

[Mother was right] "Why don't you quit hanging around and do a little…" May 17, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Why, mother, it would interfere with all the social obligations I owe my friends…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "My friends keep loafing around here and keep me from doing any work"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 05

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] Miss Paprika Van Jawbone, president of The Society for the Suppression of Beards on goats… May 15, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "We haven't decided where we'll go for the summer…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] "I wish I could afford to buy a decent piano so I could give real expression to my musical soul"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 05

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] T. Alexander Carpetface tells the ladies of the club why he wrote "The Empty Bean", the book that… May 8, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It is a great pleasure to me to see how anxious you ladies are to develop…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "Jenny wrote and asked me for a picture of myself"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 05

We're rapidly becoming a military nation May 7, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "And don't forget the spool of thread" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "Of me you've oft heard kipling tell…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 05

Using every available space for food production during the war May 4, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'm tired of dancing with the elephants…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I can't go out in the country and enjoy the beauties of nature but…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 05

The village souse will soon have to seek another kind of popularity May 2, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] When prohibition robs the village souse of his only claim to fame, he'll have to keep up his popularity by… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "Just think-all I get is three dollars a week! I certainly envy the $50,000-a-year men"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 05

[It costs too much to live and you can't afford to die] "Simeon, I knew food would be very scarce so I saved a lovely can of tomatoes" Apr 30, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Fine! I'll run down to the corner and buy a can opener" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "An Hawaiian song, a hula maid…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 05

[Father was right] "My son, before I die I want to tell you that there is only one nobility…" Apr 28, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "You're all wrong, dad-but thanks for the million" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I had enough money to take part in some of these swell society costume affairs"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 05

It's all wong, Leonard, it's all wrong Apr 19, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "My husband is so fine and big and strong and I love him so much I don't think I can live without him…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "This is a great position-I can see the enemy very distinctly"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 05

Universal military training is busting out everywhere Apr 18, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Carry spoons! Forward march! We'll surprise the soup with a flank movement and follow…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "I fain would sing in lyrics bold"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 06

Even a fast runner sometimes arrives just a little too late June 22, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It's about half a mile from here to the beach but…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "I'm sick of golf and motor cars…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 06

A man with a great brain is only human, after all June 20, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Well, well, I'm certainly glad to see you-I haven't seen you for twenty years…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I'm smart-I'll put the key right here in the trunk"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 06

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] Henry Rentdodger, of the Royal Academy of Arabia, gives the ladies an absorbing illustrated talk… June 19, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "After traveling for 88 days across the plains of hitchykoo, living principally on banana skins…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor woman, rich woman: "I wish I could afford to have a hairdresser come to the house…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 06

Otherwise this man has nothing the matter with him June 16, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] You probably don't believe it, but the gentleman looking at the new apartment… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "Hark, hark, did some one call my name?"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 06

The Germans in this country are all under observation June 8, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Julia, it's against the law for me to come near your house" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "The city's turmoil I forsook…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 06

You can't blame the boys for feeling a little proud of their new uniforms June 4, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] No wonder it is hard to get a trained army-these legs all have to march in the same direction. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "I begged her on my bended knee"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 06

The war will make men scarce at the summer resorts June 1, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Anything in the shape of a man will be welcome, now that most of the young fellows are at the military camps. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "Pretty soft for these wealthy young fellows who can spend a couple…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 06

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] Ignacio Sqeakerino, the great Slavic violinist, plays one of his own compositions, "The Growl of a Servian Wolf-Hound" May 29, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Hello, Dick-that simp is still playing so I'll have to postpone the date for an hour" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Private citizen, public man: "An ambassador must have a wonderful time being…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 06

It is useless to sit down any more May 28, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "There's nothing like a plate of hot soup" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "Still undaunted, undismayed,"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 06

You probably pick out the wrong one, anyway, so why not this? May 26, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] The hat store diving board-to save time in selecting your straw hat, you keep the one you fall into and let it go at that. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "Every time I sit down I tear my trousers on that nail"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 07

Golf is a great game after you once get started July 13, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll shoot right away so I won't delay the people in back of me" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I've been lying here for three hours waiting for that alarm to go off"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 07

The designs on foreign flags must mean something, after all July 11, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Flags of all nations" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "That's my idea of luxury-taking an automobile tour for a month…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 07

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] The ladies spend the afternoon cheering up a member of the club, who has a bad cold July 10, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I brought you this book giving the final words of great people just before they died-it's very interesting" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I'm dying for a drink of that water"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 07

The summer camera nut always mails you these July 7, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Taken on the road to Cheesecake Gulch with the driver of the bus. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I envy the fellow with a big camera that has a lot of complicated adjustments"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 07

[It costs too much to live and you can't afford to die] "I have a few dollars saved up and I want to buy a small piece of land where I can build a little shack" July 6, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I can let you have a square foot of rock in the middle of that lake for $1,000" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "My wife she is a suffragette"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 07

Independence Day July 4, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] [person sitting in a chair labeled "autocracy" with a giant firecracker lit under the seat] // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor kid, rich kid: "I wish somebody would buy me all the fireworks in that window"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 07

The author of "Tipperary" didn't know he was writing a great war song, either July 2, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] All the great writers and composers are working night and day. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "We do not know when life shall end,"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 07

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] The ladies give a luncheon to Richard Otten, the poet… June 26, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "From out the void of the mystic past, I hear a voice…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I have to go out for the paper every morning before breakfast…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 07

When they got home they told of their narrow escape June 25, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Don't look around and give him the impression that you feel guilty" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "The riddle no man seems to know,"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 07

Martinez, sweep out padded cell 41,976 June 23, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll take Saturday afternoon off so I can go out in the country for the week-end" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I'll take plenty of films away with me"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 08

[Sweep out the padded cell] Manuel, sweep out padded cell 27,130 Aug 22, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "One cigar a day can't do any harm even if the doctor advised me to stop smoking" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "Her voice is like the nightingale's,"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 08

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] The ladies take a sightseeing trip to refresh their memories on the romantic history of their native city Aug 21, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "That dill pickle factory you see straight ahead of you stands on the very spot where…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "It must be fine to have a big lawn where you can sit all by yourself and enjoy life"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 08

It's all wrong, Jerome, it's all wrong Aug 16, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "It's too expensive to join a golf club so I'll have to economize by playing on a public links" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "Up spake brave sargeant Joe McGee,"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 08

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] Mme. Joan Feedbag, the famous hygienic cooking expert, kindly consents to… Aug 14, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "In making the Brazilian pancake, take two eggs that are slightly overcome with…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "If we keep on walking we might land in China"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 08

How the same gentlemen behaves when he gets his only authority of the year -- running the annual outing of the lodge Aug 11, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The world should be made safe for democracy…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "Every time I want to catch a train…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 08

[Father was right] "It says here in the paper that we should not use gasoline for joy-riding because it will be needed…" Aug 10, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The old man believes everything-I'll fill her up and take a spin…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "Driver, stop here for a few hours"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 08

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] The ladies visit the state penitentiary with the idea of taking a hand in prison reform Aug 14, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Of course, de prisoners ain't got no education…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "Boobania is bounded on the north by the river plupp,"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 08

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] The ladies have a theatre party to study the drama July 31, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "What's that? All right, tell the usher about it-nobody can stop me from wearing my own hat" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I had the price of one of those cool pongee suits"`
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 08

It's all wrong, Luke, it's all wrong July 21, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I can't do any work around this office with all this talk going on" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Fat man, skinny man: "I'd give everything I've got in the world to lose 100 pounds"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 08

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] The ladies have an outing on the beach and go in "bathing" July 17, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Bathing is a delightful sport-I can tell by what it says in this book" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I feel foolish standing around here"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 09

It's all wrong, Webster, it's all wrong Sept 12, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "This speech of mine is a wonderul masterpiece-it took me tow months to write it…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "These words the German poet penned,"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 09

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] A shortage of twenty cents is discovered in the treasury and a special meeting is called… Sept 11, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I have an idea for the first time in my life…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Slackers] The girl who reads the last chapter of a story first to escape the descriptive efforts of the author.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 09

The new army in the trenches experiences its first gas attack Sept 10, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I can see from the happy expressions on your dear little faces how glad you all are…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] School boy, grown man: "It must be great to be grown-up and have no home…"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 09

Breezy summer gossip from any old lake Sept 1, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Hotel gossip has linked the names of Julius Mothball and Matilda Wheatcake… // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Slackers] The kid who splashes the water around the bath-room and takes particular pains not to get wet.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 09

It's all wrong, Eddie, it's all wrong Aug 31, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I can't keep a pair of white trousers on for five minutes without getting them spotted" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Fifty-fifty] Poor man, rich man: "I wish I had the price of one of those swell bow ties"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 09

The man at home must do his bit by helping Esmerelda knit Aug 30, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I'll see your five-dollar raise and boost you two cents" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Slackers] The gink that gives the directions and remains on the light end when there's any heavy work to be done.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 09

And the barber generally has his way Aug 29, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "But I don't want my moustache trimmed" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "That's funny-all the other vegetable gardens are growing nicely"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 09

[Father was right] "Why don't you be sensible and have your eyes measured for a pair of glasses?" Aug 27, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Spectacles are for old men-nobody will ever discover I can't see very well" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Silly sonnets] "Alone I rushed into the fray"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 09

A summer commuter leads a tragic life Aug 24, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "This summer commuting is terrible-I go to bed thinking about the 7:42…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Slackers] The housekeeper who sweeps everything under the bureau.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 09

As long as we are making the world safe for democracy Aug 23, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] Taxicab driver who takes you around the block when you want to go across the street. // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "I've pulled at this sweater for an hour-"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 10

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] The ladies hold a debate on the following subject… Oct 30, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "History tells us that Emperor Finnigan the first, of the ancient Carthaginians…" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Slackers] The woman who knits a sweater for a soldier and then wears it herself.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 10

[No brains, no brains!] "Why, sure, golf is my dish-as a rule I only play with the champions" Oct 25, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I generally go around the course in about 80-I'll play you for anything you like" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Slackers] The fellow in the front of the boat who stops rowing to admire the beautiful scenery.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 10

There are two sides to every man, as well as every argument Oct 24, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "Speed! Speed! Hurry up, everybody!..." // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [I never thought of that] "Let's see, what did I do with my glasses?"
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 10

[The weekly meeting of the Tuesday Ladies' Club] The ladies do their bit by organizing a military unit of their own and experiencing the hardships of war once a week Oct 23, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "I wonder if the captain would mind if I took a taxi when we start marching" // [Additional panel(s) on sheet:] [Slackers] The gink who never carries an umbrella and always borrows yours without ever asking whether you need it yourself.
volume 1964.047 v.06--ffALB, folder 10

The 1917 football squad Oct 18, [1917]

Physical Description: 1 drawing : cartoon

Note

[Additional text (excerpt):] "The ancient